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4

I wake up freezing cold, slowly getting up I grab the blanket and wrap around me as I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Getting dressed in a dark blue hoodie and the same pants with holes, the same black shoes too.

Once I'm finished getting dressed I head out to school once again looking at the place I grew up in all alone. No one lives in this neighborhood but me.

walking as my thoughts begin to wonder again, if I see jahseh again I hope he doesnt mention anything about my thigh.

I already hate myself enough for doing what I do, I do not wish to be reminded of it.

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I enter the school, slowly putting my hood on I sigh and put me head down, avoiding eye contact.

Bumping into someone, I begin to quicken my pace to avoid to speak to them I enter the classroom.

I sit down in the back corner, placing my books down slowly as I sigh. Placing my head in my palm I watch as the teacher walks back in forth.

'This is just the same old normal regular day except...' Jahseh walks into class causing the teacher to stop speaking and the class to go silent as he walks up the isle and takes a seat beside me, all I can hear is ringing. 'he changed it all and I didnt even realize until....today'.

Ringing,

ringing is all I hear as everyone gets up and walks out of class in a hurry. I feel a hand on my shoulder, lookin to the side I see jahseh looking at me with curiosity, my hearing gets better and everything goes quiet.

I shake his hand off as I gather my books and pens, I stand up and push in my chair,

walking away I feel someone following behind me. Knowing its him I just ignore it and continue to walk forward.

in second period I take my seat in the back, as jahseh sits next to me I sigh and look at him.

Without realizing it he was returning the look I was giving him, I couldnt believe what I was doing but I actually...Smiled.

I shake my head stopping myself from doing so, staring at the desk my mind begins to wonder.

'Did I really just.... Smile I have to keep my distance and this time I mean it' I get up out of my seat and move to the front as class begins to start.

Placing my head in my palm I begin to loose myself in my thoughts.

'What would happen if everything just ended... Would my birth mom really care... Will anyone try and stop me from ending it.. Will I get to ever feel any type of way towards someone before my life ends...'

My thoughts interrupted by the teacher yelling at someone. I look towards where the teacher was looking and see jahseh and a girl arguing.

I stand up and walk up to the girl, dragging her by the ear and sitting her in front of the class and sit back in my seat.

The girl tries to start and argument with me but I completely ignore her.

Out of no where I feel a sharp pain on my cheek, in my head I start hearin his voice making my body shiver and beginning to break down. I stare at the floor as images of his blurry face appear in my mind and shit he would say repeating over an over again.

The girls face comes closer to my face yelling shit, 'your a piece of shit dont ever lay yours hands on me again you worthless whore thats why your always so lonely Bitch kill your fucking self', she was pulled away by the security guard.

Continuing to stare at the floor everyone gasp and 'oo's in the background. Repeating the words she said to me in my head over and over I begin to get a headache so I walk out of the class and head out to the front door of the school, but was stopped by... Jahseh.

I look him in the eyes as he begins to speak "I'm so sorry about what sh-"

"who is she exactly.." I ask interrupting him without showing any expression

"shes my ex she started the argument because she saw you smiling at me and was claiming how I was still hers" he says lower in his head avoiding eye contact.

"Well I dont blame you... But I will be staying far away from you now on I do not want to cause any trouble for you" I walk try to walk past him but he grabs my wrist.

"Please... Give me your phone number I want to make sure youre alright now and then.." Still trying to avoid eye contact he realises his grip on my wrist.

"You know why that girl started all this and you want my number.. She did all that over me smiling, you dont think shes gonna do something worse if she finds out I gave you my number." I shake my head and walk away.

heading out to my house I get there in 45 minutes. I run upstairs avoiding broken steps, walking into my room I see the pillow and blanket still there from this morning.

Laying down, I begin to think.

I never wished to turn out like this, I never wanted to be here, I never ever thought about my own family leaving me and disowning me... I do wish I was born with a second chance to make things better,

to find out what I did wrong when I was younger and fix it. I want to be a better person for everyone, I want to be there for others, I want to treat people how they deserve to be treated...