xiv. REAL LIFE

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             OLIVER HAD TO be freaking the fuck out

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OLIVER HAD TO be freaking the fuck out. Here he was, sitting in the middle of a small café with his leg bouncing so quickly and a cup of coffee in his hand. Timothée had texted him five minutes ago saying that he was almost there and somehow that was worse. First, Timothée was texting him (texting him!) and they were meeting but only to discuss why they really broke up and Oliver was freaking the fuck out because he was the biggest idiot in the world. He was.

Even if his friends denied it or tried to comfort him they all knew the truth, and Timmy would too once he arrived.

And then Oliver could see the mop of brown curls into the café, eyes searching before landing on him. Before, when they were together, he would do this and then he would smile and Oliver would return it and they'd be grinning like idiots for too long. Now, Timothée just headed over to him without it and Oliver felt his heart stop and then drop.

"Hi," he greeted when the Chalamet boy sat down.

"Hey," he repeated back. And for a moment, there was just a tense silence between them as Oliver sipped at his drink which was a lot easier than trying to explain everything that happened.

Thankfully, a waitress came back asking if Timothée wanted a cup of coffee and if Oliver wanted a refill. They took both quickly. Once she was gone, Oliver let out, "So..."

"It's, uh, been a long time," and that was definitely a great way for Timmy to continue the conversation.

"Yeah," Oliver agreed and nodded his head, "I'm sorry, really."

"Just," Timothée clenched his eyes shut. Oliver wasn't sure if it was out of pain of seeing him, hearing this, or anger. "Let's get this over with. I don't wanna be here longer than I have it."

Anger. It was definitely anger.

"Right...sorry. Well, I guess it kinda begins with Rachel. Everything begins with Rachel," he adds the last part bitterly and a bit quieter than the rest before, but his tone before returned as he continued, "She was commenting on how I hadn't really had anything that big after Jurassic World – role wise – so she was determined to do anything to get me back into the light."

"I don't see how this has anything to do with our break up," Timmy cut in.

"I'm getting there," Oliver sent him a warning look, but his glare held no heat, "Well, Rachel also manages River, that's how we met. Rachel set up a meeting for us and I didn't really know what it was – what it was supposed to be. We got along well and after that Rachel said it would be a good idea for us to date.

"I, of course, told her that I was taken and she just rolled her eyes. Said that you weren't helping me, that I wouldn't get anywhere in Hollywood dating you," he regretted including that part when he saw the hurt in his ex's eyes, "River and I continued to talk and hang out, I thought she didn't know about Rachel's plan, and it wasn't long until the media caught up. Said that I was cheating on you but I didn't. I would never.

"And I don't really know when it happened. I think Rachel cut into my dad, you know he always thought I was gonna fail in this business. Wanted me to be a lawyer and everything just like him. I think that's when I agreed to the plan. I just...I wanted to prove to everyone that I could make it, prove to my dad that it wasn't a mistake and I wasn't gonna fail," Oliver let out a shaky breath as he thought of his dad. Thought of the words his dad used to use when talking to and about him.

"I didn't care about my own happiness then, I just wanted to succeed. But I couldn't tell you, I knew you'd talk me out of it and God do I wish you did. So I texted you. I broke up with you over text and I accepted the fake relationship with River."

Timothée stared at him with unreadable eyes. It could've been hatred in them, hurt, anything and Oliver didn't know. He was so scared in that moment that he fucked everything up further, the last thing he wanted. The one thing he probably accomplished.

There were minutes of silence. Oliver thought of adding more but he didn't. "So you...you're telling me that you ended our relationship because you wanted to succeed?" Timmy finally asked and Oliver could only nod.

Timothée scoffed, "Wow. Then what made you leave Rachel and break up with River?"

"I succeeded," Oliver said, "I did it. Everything my dad said I couldn't do I did. Everything Rachel tried to tell would never come true did. And Jax...Jax became my friend and showed me that I don't need money or succession to be happy. The guy just wants to work at fast food restaurants even though he had the chance to become famous with his brother. And I just wanted to be happy."

"You put me through all this pain...you broke up with me and then a year later just decided to try and come back into my life because you want to be happy?" Timmy started to become angry, "Wow."

Oliver looked down guiltily. He had nothing to defend himself with, no piece of information to pull because that was the truth. He was so selfish. "I'm sorry," he apologized again.

"And you kept this from me for so long, too, that's the worst part," the Chalamet boy continued, "I talked to you – had conversations with you – without even knowing all of this."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. God, you're just apologizing. Do you even know what you're apologizing for?"

"For hurting you. I didn't – everything I did was just so selfish and I didn't think of others, I just thought of myself. I hurt you and I just, I wanted to work this. Yeah, I want you back, but I also just want to stop feeling so goddamn guilty for keeping this from you. You deserved to know this so I...I had to tell you. I just, didn't. I didn't tell you because I knew you were gonna hate me even more than you did before and there would be no chance of ever getting you back."

Timothée stared straight into his eyes and again Oliver didn't know the look in his eyes. Was it hatred? Was it hurt? Was it something else? He couldn't tell, all he could do was be nervous.

"I need to leave," Timmy said in a shaky voice, leaving the café without a second thought, Oliver still sitting at the booth with a heartbroken expression on his face. He really had fucked everything up.

Oliver just stayed there for a while. Head in his hands as he tried to pull himself together. Fuck.













AUTHORS NOTE
for some clarification: the gang has been friends with evan for a long time and knew of jax but they didn't become friends until a couple months ago

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