α ѕιℓєиϲє || ʙᴏᴏᴋ 1 ||

|| ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 3 ||

Sebastian.

That fool. He fooled Ciel into believing he'd forver be by his side. How could he..? How could he just... Die on him?

Ok, yeah, he didnt choose to die... But... Still. You promise someone you'll stay by their side forver then leave shorter than a snap, its devistating. In a way I feel betrayed. I know it should Ciel who is hurting more than all of us, but I cant help but share his pain.

Ciel's been through to much already to have to go through something like this... Again.

I stood infront of the body length mirror placed on the door of my wore drobe. I was clad in a black funeral gown, getting prepared... Well, for a funeral. Sebastian's funeral. I had only been informed hours earlier that he had passed, the tears breaking from my eyes immediately.

I had yet to stop crying, my eyes and nose completely red at this point. Paula had tried to sooth me as best she could, I could tell her real goal was to keep my face presentable for the funeral. I just couldnt keep my eyes from flooding. It was all so horrible. Poor Ciel. Poor, poor, poor Ciel. He deserved so much better than this. He's been through so much, yet he still stands tall.

It left me awestruck. I admire Ciel's strength, I do. But I wish he would be more open to sharing his feelings. I can understand how some people would rather conceal their emotions, but it surely cant be easy. For Ciel who already has to deal with so much, he should atleast have a shoulder to lean and share his thoughts with when he needed to. Sebastian was that shoulder from what I know. He was always capable of being able to stand by Ciel's side, his ears open to his every word. I can differ in only aspect.. It wasn't every minuet of every day that I spent with Ciel. It was very rarely that I got to hear from him at all.

Paula was currently crouched down behind me, her hands pulling the ribbon wrapped around my waist tightly. The tightness didn't wind me much. I was so used to wearing a corset that squeazed my inside's to an unbelievable extent that I no longer seemed bothered by things such as tight embraces or hugs or etc.

"Lord Ciel will be grateful for your support, my lady." Paula spoke, just as she finished tying the ribbon into a simple perfect bow. She got to her feet, straightning out the skirt to her dress. Her hands pushing agaisnt her dress created a soft scratching sound that was oddly soothing to my ears.

I nodded, sniffing my irritated nose. "Y-Yes." I managed to stutter out through my recovering sobs. I inhaled a trembling breath, exhaling an equally trembled breath moments later. I could feel the worried nerves radiate off my maid like the burning summer sun. She was almost as bad as me when it came to overly worrying.

I knew over a course of time I'd be able to push my sarrow aside, in order to keep Ciel's spirits up. I wonder greatly what will become of him now. His main home support seeming to be Sebastian after all. He'd surely need a partner for his missions and such, it'd be far to dangerous to send him off on his own.

Paula returned to my side holding out a black hat head piece. I held my head towards her. Paula swiftly placed it onto my head, making sure the strands of hair that had been pulled tightly into pigtails didnt at all come out of place. Once she finished, I fully looked over myself in the mirror. Black. Thats all I wore. Not cute.

The warm embrace of my gowns matching black shall wrapped securely around my arms. I realized then Paula had left momentarily to retrieve it.

"My lady, its time that we leave." I despised those words. I wasnt ready yet. I wasnt ready to face Ciel. I just hoped from the bottom of my soul that he hasnt been expiriencing to much heartbreak from this, then again maybe it was better he did. Atleast then he wouldnt be shoving his emotions in the inside.

My eyes wondered towards the window of my room. The sky was coated yet again in grey clouds. From what I could tell, there wasnt a chance of rain breaking through any time soon. That was releaving. The gentle nudge of Paula's hand startled me. I focused my sight back onto her, who was motioning that we begin heading towards the awaiting carriage. With great hesitance, I nodded and began my walk down the stairs and outside.

Where i would soon begin my way to Ciel's.