α ѕιℓєиϲє || ʙᴏᴏᴋ 1 ||

||Chapter 8||

The boat deck the next morning was less crowded than usual, the air was chilly and the clouds that coated the sky were a dark grey. I was slightly disappointed sense I was expecting blue sky's and the brightest of sunlight, but I suppose it dosnt matter, after all it won't be the weather I'll be paying attention to. I'm still just so delighted to be given the entire day with Ciel, uninterrupted by work or any other surprise guests. Throughout the entire night, I was wide awake just by the thought, searching through my packed belongings for the perfect gown to wear.

Eventually after alot of thorough searching I decided on a pale blue dress, mostly sense it was Ciel's favorite color. I was waiting patiently next to the deck railings, staring out towards the vast ocean that scattered seemingly endless into the horizon. If you tried to block out the voices of the several others walking the decks, you could hear the distant splash of waves crashing agaisnt the hard metal surface of the ship below.

There were several footsteps, considering there were several passengers wondering around near where I stood, but there was one pair of footsteps in particular that caught my ear. Despite not even looking in the direction they were coming from, I was able to tell they were none other than Ciel's. How do I know this? I honestly have no clue what so ever. It was just an instinct, some kind of Ciel detector super power.

And, just as I had known, it was Ciel. He appeared infront of me, in the midst of the small crowds, clad in his typical dark colored attire, with a matching hat on his head and a long cane.

"Hello Lizzy." He greeted with a smile that could easily be read as fake, but I didn't mind, I knew eventually with effort I could possibly make it real. I skipped my greet and went straight for a hug. I could feel Ciel was hesitant at first but eventually his arms returned the embrace and just by the small action my smile grew larger.

We pulled apart after a few moments and that large smile on my face remained, but much to my dismay his were still pinched into a frown. One that was all to familiar and normal for him.

"So, is there anything you'd like to do in particular today?" His gloved hand extended towards me expectantly, his eyes not returning contact with mine as he did so. Instead just staring off to the side, not really intentionally, just more in the sense he didn't at all care to much.

"Other than spending time with you, I hadn't really thought of anything." I linked my arm with his, squeezing it tightly within my grip. A sigh escaped his lips and unfortunately I noticed it, that frown of his becoming contagious. Despite Ciel clearly being unhappy at the moment, I knew that during the entire day we had together I would be able to turn his frown up side down. And it would be a true, real smile. Not one just for show. I'd give him a good time without the stress of work weighing down on his shoulders or his duty's to the queen clouding his train of thought. A day where he can just focus on the joy life could bring.

"Have you enjoyed your trip so far? It's lovely to see you free of work, I grow so worried knowing how stressed you must be." I said, peering towards him, my smile genuinely light hearted. Ciel tentively glanced at me with that lovely blue eye of his, and he simply gave a nod to what I had said. He acknowledged my every word, but he didn't seem to care enough to find a decent reply to it. That's what his dull and lifeless expression said, atleast. It was practically screaming the words "I DONT CARE"

It always did. Except for the very rare times he actually smiled. It may not always be genuine or real when he does, but it's still wonderful to see nonetheless. He has a beautiful smile. And when his fascinating blue eye is gleaming with delight it is truly the most gorgeous thing to ever witness. I really miss able to see those genuine expressions of happiness.. Now their just masks to cover up how he's really feeling, and even with urging his facade never falters. I'm never able to get through to him. And he never opens up to me. It really makes it feel as if our entire relationship is built off of expectations, fake actions to please the other or to drive them away from worrying.

I know I'm not that truthful with Ciel, there's alot I keep from him, mostly about my personality and such. But it's not the same. Ciel keeps his feelings from me. From everyone. He's built this wall that's impossible to break through yet I still muster determination to destroy. I want him to trust me. I want him to know I'm here and that I care. That I'd never hurt him. There's so much of myself I keep hidden just so he can remain happy, and I'm happy to do it. Because Ciel being happy is what truly makes me happy. I could survive of off his mere grin.

"How about we just walk?" I say into the silence that had been growing between us. Ciel's eyebrow arches as he trurns his attention to look at me curiously.

"Elizabeth, you do know this get together is suppised to last the entire day? Don't you believe we should do something other than walk?" I could tell by just the sound of voice he was wondering if I'd gone mad. I havnt.

"I know, but just look at how pretty it is outside! Dont you want to enjoy it while it lasts?" I gestured my hand out towards the scenery in an obnoxious manor, face full of excitment. His eyebrows had transformed from arched to furrowed. I could still see from his expression he wasnt to intruiged by the idea.

"It's grey outside, like always. There's really nothing that spectacular about it."

"Yes but now it's grey outside on water. Were in the middle of the atlantic on a grand ship, shouldn't we appreciate the outdoors?"

"It's not like we have a large garden to explore, this deck will only take two hours at the most to walk through. Then we'll both be tired and left with nothing to do."

"Then we walk through it again!"

"Lizzy."

"Ciel." My smiling eyes burned into his dull ones with hopeful determination. It remained like this for a while, just a fight between two gazes focused at one another. In the end though, Ciel grew tired and rather irritated of it, so with a long dragged out sigh he gave a shrug of his shoulders.

"Fine. But don't whine to me when your feet start to hurt."

Good thing I dont wear heels.

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Hello readers! I apologize for the once again very long wait. It's just this book has given me a severe case of writers block. When I first began to write it I had a very thin plot in mind and the story wasn't planned out much at all, so most of the chapters I write are made up on the spot and frankly I don't think they come out very well. I'm currently trying to plan out a stronger story line for this book, one that's alot more interesting and planned out than the simple weak one I have right now. Putting that aside though, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter and once again im terribly sorry for the long wait. I plan for and really hope the next update will come out alot more soon than this one did 💕💕💕