Jackson, Mississippi
1966
Toni Michele.
I walked to the Smith's property, like I do everyday. It's my job but unlike the other maids, I enjoy this job. I get to see my friend, Mae Beau, and my boyfriend, Lucas.
I oughta tell you some stories about Lucas, but as a negro maid, we don't want everybody to know we are more than great friends.
But I can say, all mistakes are for a reason. Lucas and Mae Beau are about my age, so they should've gotten an old maid, but somehow they got me. Crazy, right?
And I'd call him my boyfriend out loud if I could but I cannot. He's a white and I'm a negra.
"Toni Michele!" I looked across the Smith's yard and saw Lucas calling out to me. He's too cute.
I walked a little faster and met up with him halfway up their driveway. "Hello, Mister Lucas. How are you on this fine day?" I felt myself blushing, I hate hiding my feelings like this, but we're in public so I must.
"I'm doing better now that you're here, Toni Michele. And please, just call Lucas. I am no mister." We both laughed a little before it got awkward.
"Well, Lucas, are you by yourself? Where's Sir Charles and Missus Jenny? Oh, and Mae Beau." He gave me a beautiful smile before answering, "No, sorry, Toni Michele. It's just me for today. They went on a days trip to Central Alabama."
Wild thoughts ran through my head inappropriately, but who's to say I can't think. If I don't act on it, who cares. My thoughts are mine.
"Well, that's great. I'll just clean up and then be on my way." I assured him.
He stepped aside and walked behind me as we went inside. Sir Charles and Missus Jenny really trust Lucas to leave him home alone. Especially with a negra. Nasty rumors start when a white and a black are left alone.
"Toni Michele, can I ask you something?" I turned to Lucas, who was sitting on the counter in the kitchen behind me. "Of course." I answered.
"Are you tired?"
I tilted my head in confusion. Why would he think I'm tired? I just got here. "No."
"Really? Because I've been running through your mind all day." He said. He closed his eyes before palming his face. "I mean because you've b—"
"I know, Lucas." I said as I giggled. I told y'all, Lucas and I are dating. Just only when people aren't around.
"Come here." He said motioning me.
I stood between his legs and looked into his beautiful baby blue eyes. "You are so beautiful." He said as his thumb caressed my cheek.
I blushed and looked away, he gets me flustered. "Thank you, Lucas." I said lowly. He drew my face to his and placed a kiss onto my lips. We just started doing this kissing thing last week. Before then, it was risky and unheard of.
A white and a negra kissing. Sounds like foolishness, but it happens. At least in private it did.
I had a smile plastered onto my face after our beautiful, simple kiss. "Your lips are just fantastic; soft and so dreamlike. Can I get another kiss?"
He's such a flirter. I placed another kiss onto his lips before getting back to work. "Why do you do this, Toni Michele? Why do you work so hard just for less than a twenty dollar bill every week?"
"What's a twenty dollar bill?" I asked.
"It's a— here, come here. I'll show you." He grabbed onto my hand and led me to his bedroom. His bedroom was blue and boyish. It was full of awards and posters from every sport you could think of.
He showed me the twenty dollar bill, it was so green and crisp. "How did you get this?" I asked in awe of the new money.
"My dad got it. He said they are super rare and the government hasn't let out a whole lot of them yet." He said before taking a seat on his bed.
I love his bed. We've kissed a few times there, too. Nothing more than kissing, which I knew annoyed him sometimes. He asked one day if we could do more touching, but I cannot.
Not only would my mother kill me, but so would God. I'm not married yet and I cannot part taken in such forbidden acts.
"Toni Michele, one day, I'm going to marry you, you know that right?" I looked away and drew my attention to the awards in his room.
I like Lucas, but he is full of broken promises. He knows we can never get married. It's illegal for a white and a black folk to get married.
"Did I say something wrong?" He asked coming behind me. I felt him press himself against. The temptation was serious, but I couldn't. I moved forward before turning to talk.
"We can never get married, Lucas. It's not right. We shouldn't even be doing this." I said referring to us sneaking around and kissing and liking each other.
He grabbed my hand and locked our fingers together. "If I cared about everybody else's opinions on who I am to love, I wouldn't have found the love of my life." He stared into my eyes with pure love.
"Love of your life? Y-You love me?"
I was genuinely surprised by him dropping such a strong emotion for someone like me. We've been sneaking for almost five months now, but he never told me he loved me.
"What's not to love? You're smart, beautiful, and those lips of yours are just.." He leaned in and kissed me. "Amazing."
I could feel myself blushing. "I love you, Toni Michele and I want you to know that if I could yell it at the top of my lungs, I would." He said.
"I love you, too, Lucas."
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