APARTMENT 302. ( g.ahr )

9

violet
"you make me feel... so much."

-

when you left, i felt like dying. as soon as you let go of me. as soon as your arms fell from around my stature, i was a lost cause. nothing but the night sky above me and a blunt between my fingers to keep me company. you left me alone on that roof that night, expecting my heart not to follow after you. and you expected me to be okay. but i wasn't. it's not like that when it comes to you.

oh, how i wanted to scream the words at him, the endless, meaningless, empty laces of thoughts running through this stupid head of mine.

but i couldn't.

"you okay?" dylan asked me, tapping my thigh with his finger.

i left my head from his shoulder and smile at him, trying to ignore the aching sadness behind it.

"why wouldn't i be?"

"it's pretty obvious." he whispered, nodding his head to the couch on the other side of the room.

my eyes fell on gus sat down, his arm around that same girl i saw him with in the penthouse. they were laughing. probably about stupid shit. they shared a blunt between them.

his eyes fell on me with the same dark gaze, his face cold and distant. it's like he doesn't even know i exist.

trying to take my mind off the aching sickness in my stomach was an understatement.

i look back at dylan who has a sympathetic look on his face.

"dylan... i'm fine, promise."

"i sure hope so... he has a thing for breaking hearts."

"please. he can't hurt me that easily." i say, trying to show a strong front, hoping for him to think i can deal with anything. but that doesn't stop the continuous ache of loneliness that lingered in my chest.

i was wrong. and a liar. gus was hurting me. even if it wasn't his intention.

soon after, megan came and sat down next to me.

"guess who's here for the show bitch!" she squealed.

"who?"

"bex! he's been dying to see you again!"

i smiled warmly, i liked bexey. he seemed sweet, and genuine, even if he wore deep dark contacts that made him look a little scary.

"is he performing?" i ask.

"i think so.. a few songs with gus i think." she answered, nodding her head towards gus again.

he's looking at me again, an eager expression on his face, like he wanted to know what we were talking about.

"gus, baby! whatcha looking at?" the annoying little bitch on his arm chimed.

he plastered one of his fake smiles on and turned back to her.

he doesn't give a fuck and i know it.