WATTYS LONG LIST. He's got three polyamorous, pole dancing moms and his world is the stuff of which teen boy fantasies are made. But when he falls for a feisty cancer patient who is about to die, he truly learns how to live.
Party time! We're just getting started here, though. The next chapter will be "full tilt boogie" at Joie DiVivre. But the "morning after" gag gifts and teasing had to come first, right? You know the girls had to give Kendall a little good natured "grief," right? Janet's song is my little wink in that direction. And oh my God, that car down there at the bottom--saw it auctioned off on TV a few years ago and just wept with envy. I may never have it, but my "make believe" family can. Enjoy!
Watching that gag gift backfire big time was funny as hell. I still crack up just thinking about it.
We were walking into the big house to join the girls for breakfast when Mike puts up "stop" hands and says, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Before you sit down--here!"
And she hands Kendall this big, beautifully wrapped box. With this little glint in her eyes.
And we can feel everybody in the kitchen—Joie and the girls—holding their breath, just dying to see Kendall's reaction.
So Kendall looks at me. And I shrug and say, "Just humor them."
So she heads over to the little appliance island, carefully removes the ribbon and wrapping paper, opens the big box...and comes up with one of those little rubber donut cushion things they give people after they get operated on for hemorrhoids. I think they give them to women after they have babies, too.
And just as the girls are about to bust a gut, Kendall gasps and says, "Oh my God, my prayers have been answered! Cause he's like...well...I guess you guys know, right?"
And she shows it to me all excited like it was the ring I hadn't bought her yet. With the girls just standing there looking all confused.
And then she goes over, plops the donut down on a chair at the table and sits her little butt down on it with this little sigh of relief, as if she wanted to show them how grateful she was for their "thoughtfulness."
And Joie, who's already sitting at the table, gives this little smirky smile and goes, "Well. Maybe the next one will have the desired effect..."
And that's when we finally had the laugh they'd been hoping for. Though the joke was on them, not Kendall.
So, I said, "Okay, c'mon! Lay it on me."
And Cat just shoved it at me and said, "Here! Just get it over with."
Mine was a back brace. And I went, "Hardy, har, har."
So then Joie slid me a littler box. A shiny blue jewelry box that I recognized right off. So I opened it and took out a very swanky looking business card.
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