Being 17 life is hard enough to accomplish something like being a model or whatever and it's even tougher when your dad is hurting you mentally and physically and not being able to do anything about it I'm scared and I'm damaged and there's nowhere to go there's nowhere to hide I hate my father for many reasons
my mom tried to stop him from doing these things but she's no longer with us she passed away last year from cancer and ever since then my dad has been different not in a good way either
The beating dashing slitting my throat, calling me names like whore slut because I was so scared to come home I stayed at my boyfirends house oh yeah he doesn't know what he has done because I refused to tell him
Always wearing long sleeves so your fans never know what really happens behind closed doors and not being able to have sex with your incredible and amazing sweet boyfriend that makes feel like a princess every day
Sometimes I feel like the only way to take the pain away is to die I am scars and bruises all over my body except for my face because I cover it with makeup because I'm a model and I cover a lot of things with makeup my career is my only safe place from the world I live in
My name is Alex I'm 17 years old I live in Los Angeles California I've been a model since I was 15 years old I now model for Victoria's Secret in Vogue and stuff I met Shawn Mendes two years ago at a party and we started talking and eventually we started dating
When I have a bad day or my dad's hurts me I go over to his house he doesn't live that far for me so I walked there or run so my dad can't find where I'm going today was one of those days I my dad slapped me in the face for doing nothing wrong but I feel like everything I do is wrong I will never be enough for him
or anyone else I've been with Shawn since 5 i had a meeting from 7 am to 5 pm then I just went to Shawn's it's 11 and Shawn and i are in his bed "babe don't you want to go home? I mean I'm fine with you being here" he said i was falling asleep " I wanna stay" i told him tired "okay" he told me he tossed me one of his tshirts
i didn't move he laughed he pulled my shirt off and pants and noticed my scars and bruises "why are there bruises all over my baby" he asked i sat up i didn't say anything "is this why you don't want to have sex with me, who did this to you?" He asked
concerned "um..um..my..dad" i told him "WHAT!" he yelled i flinched at the sound of this voice "sorry" he told me I put his shirt on over my head and pulled it down he crawled into bed with me
I looked at him "i want to have sex with you i'm ready I've been but I didnt want you to know" i told him "it's okay and I'm not going to push you into doing something you don't want to and I won't let him hurt you anymore your staying here" he told me "he'll find me" i told him "oh alex" someone said i screamed Shawn knew it was him i started crying
He came up to the room "you think I wouldn't find you slut" he yelled "don't call my girlfriend and slut" shawn yelled "you think that you're the first guy she fucked I'm surprised she isn't knocked up" he said i cried more "aww the little bitch is crying" he slapped me in the face "get away from her" he said he hit me more i screamed at the top of my lungs
Shawn called the cops when they arrived they arrested my dad for assault and he went to prison
I was crying Shawn tried to comfort me but I just kept crying holding my face he lifted me up and carried me downstairs he got me an ice pack to put of my face
He locked all the doors and windows and we went back upstairs I was still crying
After the pain went away I took the ice pack off he wiped my tears "i love you" i told him he pulled me into his lap gently "i love you too" he told me I smiled he wrapped his arms around my waist i laid back head on his chest and i laid in his protected arms as i fell asleep
