Odds of the Untangled Knots (Trio Series #1)

Chapter 20: Best Moments

Para akong nasamid sa sarili kong laway. Tama ba 'yung narinig ko? Ano nga ulit 'yon?

"A-anong sinasabi mo diyan, ha? Okay ka lang? Nababaliw ka ba?" Sunod-sunod na tanong ko kay Axl. Pilit akong tumawa. Tumayo na rin ako mula sa sasakyan dahil ayokong mailang sa kaniya habang nakaupo kami roon nang malapit sa isa't-isa tapos ito ang pinag-uusapan.

I need air!

Breathe, Phoebe. Breathe. 'Wag kang magpapadala sa emosyon mo.

"If I told you before that I want to court you again.. would you let me? I know exactly what we are now, Phoebe. I'm your boss. We're friends.. aren't we? I mean you and me.. I.. I don't know how to say this.. God, help me," he whispered. Nanatili akong nakatalikod sa kaniya, pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili. "I just can't lose you Phoebe.. not again.. please."

I gulped when I heard how he spoke those words. It's like he was almost pleading.

Hindi ko kayang humarap sa kaniya habang pinapakinggan ang mga katagang sinasabi niya. My stomach felt like churning. Nabalisa ako nang maramdaman kong tumayo siya.

"Diyan ka lang!" gulat na sabi ko. "Don't move an inch. We can talk w-without facing each other.. Just stay there.. okay?" I whispered, barely breathing.

"Okay," he said then heaved a sigh, as if to calm himself.

I closed my eyes for a moment while listening to whatever he was going to say. Ngayon ko lang hihilingin na hindi muna si Kuya lumabas sa orphanage.

"I didn't want to ask you if I can court you.. 'cause I-I'm afraid you'll be weirded out and I wouldn't want that. We have just seen each other again in months," he drew a breath. "And I don't want you to think that this was going a little fast for you."

A little fast..

Was this a little fast for him? Five years..

I knew in my heart that I was still waiting for him. Hindi ko iyon maamin sa sarili ko.

Well damn you Phoebe. What are you trying to imply now?

"I don't want to lose you again and I.. I'm supposed to tell you that the moment we've met each other again after years, right? No.. I'm obviously saying that to myself. But would that make me pathetic? I didn't want to act like a fool around you.. Well I seriously don't know how or where to start. I just did everything I could possibly do just so you wouldn't ignore me. I don't wanna be sorry for all of it but I feel like I need to.. kasi hindi ko alam Phoebe. Natatakot ako. Now that I've finally said it.. it just scares me.. to think that you might walk away and leave me."

I was tearing up. He was scared of me? That I might actually do it.. again?

"I only wanted you to be around me.. kahit hindi malapit. Iyong makikita ka lang o kahit ano, dahil natatakot akong mawala ka ulit sa paningin ko kasi nasasanay na ulit akong nandiyan ka. I wish to have that chance again. A chance for anything. Assurance doesn't scare me at all right now. I just wish to be with you again.. talk and laugh with you everyday. Have coffee with you. Anything. Gusto lang kitang makasama ulit. I was secretly hoping for all moments with you." His voice was slightly shaking. I have never heard him sound so nervous like this before.