reason to change ♡ daddy issues sequel

siamese dream

pick your pockets full of sorrow,
run away with me tomorrow
june..
try, ease the pain
somehow we'll feel the same.

➳
sorry for any typos, writing this at 1 am.
thanks for reading. ♡

it really started the first day he laid eyes on him, whispering sweet words. panic that never subsides; butterflies forming knots in his stomach. heavenly. the word seemed to hang in the air, following him wherever he went.

five months. 155 days.

andy always kinda sorta had a crush on vic but he'd never, ever let anyone know. that day back in november where andy tripped and fell over everything in sight, tears drying at the corners of his eyes, was not the first time he had laid eyes on victor vincent fuentes. they'd been in classes together. vic wasn't exactly popular, but far from an outcast. to andy, vic was the humorous brunette sitting at the back of mr.jackson's 4th period french class. then the pretty boy who always walked instead of running in gym, and the counselor's TA, rummaging through the office after that. dressed in either ripped jeans or baggy sweatpants. band t shirts faded or wrinkled, skirts in every color under the sun.

he wasn't afraid of expressing himself, whether that meant he had pink lanyards and matching earrings, or baggy jeans and shirts cut off at the midriff. vic wasn't afraid of people either. he was quiet, but outspoken when needed. vic didn't care about gossip. vic was the definition of carefree.

andy had seem him countless times. only once had they ever interacted, though. and even though snot was running down his nose and his eyes were swollen beyond belief the moment they really met, andy was grateful.

"can i ask you something?" andy's voice bled through mazzy star blasting in vic's headphones. with one hand, he yanked them from his ear.
"yeah?" vic questioned.
"why'd you have.. hello kitty bandaids on when we first hung out?" andy tittered, rubbing his nose with his sleeve. vic's cheeks turned raspberry red as the memory came flooding back.
"i-my cousin's were over and they wanted to play doctor." vic stammered. snorting, andy playfully squeezed his boyfriend's hand.
"yeah, ok." he smiled. "tell that to your lanyard."

the lanyard around vic's neck holding his house keys was in fact, a hello kitty one.
"fuck off, bro." vic shook his head in embarrassment. shoving his middle finger in front of andy's face, vic started to giggle.
"shut up. i love you and your lanyard."
andy leaned onto vic as he planted a kiss on a reddened cheek.

another thing.
andy opened up because of him.
andy always seen as the brooding type when he was the complete opposite. he only ran with the same group of people and everyone else thought of him to be strange. but andy was vulnerable, dorky, sensitive. he made stupid jokes and got angry at the slightest things and loved making people laugh. andy had weird teeth and was sometimes twice as tall as his classmates, listened to obscure music and dressed like a homeless man. not to mention he was kind of.. annoying (or thats how he saw himself).

perhaps that's why vic loved him. or why he even started talking to him. there was something about him that he couldn't shake, something more than meets the eye. it was a barrier. his lack of communication, lack of presentation. it was the only way andy could get by. truthfully, he hated it. he wasn't like that. it exhausted him, to put up a different persona, to stay quiet when he was itching to let everything out.

but with vic, he didn't have to act that way. he could be himself.

vic had been watching him too. every little action, every word whispered anxiously in class. vic was behind it.