When I need to vent

4-30-18

I really want to tell my dad how unhappy I am living with him.
My stepmom is a totally jerk and makes fun of all my work and sneers at me and generally makes me feel like trash.. I'm scared to open my mouth around her..
My dad tries to make it seem like he cares but he never comforts me when someone I loved dies, he never pays attention to me when I'm proud of something I did.
I really hate living at his house.
As I'm writing this I'm crying so sorry for the mistakes.
I feel like I'm just being so dramatic! I know there are people with worse situations than me and I'm over here crying and feeling like trash..
And I have such low self esteem I always say I'm fat even though people always say I'm so pretty. I just feel so ugly and fat.
I feel like people just call me that because they're trying to make me feel better..
Then it makes me sad because I wonder why they're lying to me..
I'm getting off track.. sorry.
I'm just so scared of I talk to him about it, he'll hate me more than before.
And I'm so scared I'm just being unreasonable! Maybe I really do have it good and I just don't see it that way..
I just hate feeling this uncertain..
I want to ask him about moving in with my best friend... but I doubt he'll say anything positive about it. I really want to confront him and am just working up the courage.. :(
I'm not going to let myself sleep tonight. I don't deserve it.