Rant Book

My Friend's Mind

Okay so this inst a really important rant but it some how has gotten my aggravated. So I have a question for you. Do any of you have that one friend that no matter what you do they don't seem to like you they just pretend? I have one. Now her name shall remain anonymous because I am still her friends and I don't want to intentionally betray her trust. 

See it all started last year. We had PE and science together and happen to get along great. No matter what I picked her over my boyfriend, at the time, for every activity we had to do. I lived by the rule Chicks before Dicks. Then things started to change. I met other friends and started to hang out with them more. I drifted away from her but I still tried to keep in touch because no matter what she is still one of my friends. Now I get most of you are probably like it's your fault but I really tried with her. I still and trying. 

Well after I started to get closer to others she became i don't know mad at me. We had just gotten back from Spring Break and she yelled at me that I had been ignoring her for the past 2 weeks at school The thing was we weren't in school for 2 weeks it was more like 4 days. She tends to blow things out of the water not that I mind because that is what makes her, well her. I apologized for making her feel left out and she didn't believe me so we ended up in a huge fight where she wouldn't be my friend. I tried to give her space to think things over but really I was giving myself time to think. 

See at the time of all this fight, my house life wasn't the best. My mom and sister were having problems and I seems caught in the middle of it all. All while, my friend was still mad at me and even threatened that she would make our friend choose sides. Now I have insecurities, everyone has at least one. One of mine happens be, I don't like being without friends because I know I can count on them for anything. 

  Finally she decided to forgive me for ignoring her and i said okay. I wasn't in the mood to deal with her. We didn't really talk anymore but we still were in a better place. 

Now this year things seemed to get worse. Everyday she would say that were not friends and how I like to bully everyone. See I am so used to being alone at my house and being hurt by friends, I don't really know if I am hurting someone else. So usually I apologize and try to make it better. But she just can't seem to get that  I am trying to mend our relationship.

Today during our club practice she was talking to one of my other friends and saying how I was a bully and stuff. I really try to like her and I try not to get into fights with her but it's really hard. 

Especially when she sometimes is so annoying. I mean she has a new crush everyday, and when he is around she says not to say anything and then she'll scream and then blame us. Or how when we are at club practice she doesn't pick up the moves and ends up delaying our learning. I mean we are Varsity and right now JV is kicking our asses. Or like she never wants to sit with me and when I brush it off she gets mad and says i'm mean.

Do you think it's wrong that I am her friend still? I just want all my friends having each others back but I don't know if I can trust her if she keeps this up. 

Well anyways. See you next time I need to rant.

-PFH