The Explosive Potion

Chapter 5

 As I walk into the common room, the light flashes on. Malfoy and Hermione sitting on a couch. Hermione sighs "Harry, sit down."

 I sigh "Come on, guys." I point to the clock "It's late. I'm tired." they give me a concerned look and I sigh "Seriously, I'm fine."

 "Potter?" Malfoy sighs, staring at me "Sit down." she demands. Groaning, I walk forward and sit in an armchair, sweetly.

 "I'm sure you've compared notes, theories and ideas." I snicker, softly, not wanting them to see the utter fear I have sleeping in my mind.

 "Yes, we have." Hermione shift uncomfortablely "And I'm pretty sure we're right..."

 I sigh "I guess we'll just have to see, won't we?" I stiffen as I hear a noise "You didn't tell anyone else, did you?"

 "No." Hermione sighs "I believe it's my cat..." to no surprise, the cat jumps into Hermione's lap. "So, our theory is that Dudley... took advantage of you and your uncle walked in after the fact."

 "Dipshit probably said you corrupted him and your uncle beat the shite out of you." Malfoy finishes.

 I sigh "It's almost right... but not quite." they look at me bewildered. "I had just got out of the cupboard underwear the stairs, and I ran." I shrug "I got caught by the night bus and went to The Leaky Cauldron." I cross my legs "Now, if the right person is on shift, you can drink all you want." I shrug "The bartender practically begged me to stay, but I needed to go back to the Dursley's to get my trunk." I gulp "I stubbled into the house... but he was the only one up." I look down as a tear slides down my face "And that's when he grabbed me...." I rub the tear away "Fat lard that he is, he easily overpower me... and I didn't have my wand, I was too drunk to force a hex out... or too weak." I hadn't actually faced it, until now.... I clear my throat "I'm going to us the WC."

 I walk into the laboratory and lock the door, sinking to the ground. "You're nothing." I think "You've been used and thrown out and abused. Nobody will ever want you." I sob out.

 "Harry?" Hermione asks from the other side of the door "Harry, talk to us." I can tell he leans against the door.

 I wipe my face and sigh "Please, just" I sigh "leave me alone..." I stand and walk to the shower, turning it on and stripping off my clothes.

 "Alohamora." Hermione whispers, before entering "Harry, we need to talk about this." I hear the blonde follow after him.

 I sigh "Just leave." I say as I sink to the group, grabbing my razor, which has a removable blade. I quietly undo the blade.

 There's a long moment before they leave. I sigh and stare at the blade for a minute. "Do it where nobody will see." I think.

 I slide it against my stomach and watch as the blood slowly appears into the cut. I remember the feeling of him choking me as he forced himself inside. Another cut. I cry out as the pain numbs the emotion. Another cut. And another. And another. And another. One after another. Anything to numb the pain. Anything.

~

 "Harry, why are you late?" Ron asks, as I sit in front of her in potion, which receives '10 points from Gryffindor'.

 I sniffle "Don't worry about it." Truth be told, I didn't start getting ready, until everyone left. I didn't want anyone seeing what I did last night.

Malfoy gives me a worried look and I smile, weakly. "Harry?" Hermione whispers "Are you okay? Morning sickness or something?"

 I shrug "No, not yet." I whisper back "I've just been in headspace..." he nods and hugs me, before returning to his work.

 After potions, Ginny grips my arm "You resigned from seeker!" I nod "Why? Why now? Gryffindor has a game next week!"

 I shrug "I'm only holding the team back, Ginny." I sigh "Why should others suffer from my misfortune?"

 Ron narrows her gaze "Harry, what are you talking about?" I start shaking at the six people surrounding me.

 I run.

 I push past them and run. I believe I smack Malfoy, because she ran after me and grabs my arm, but I don't give a flying fuck.

~

  I sit on my broomstick, hovering over the astronomy tower. The fresh air calms me. For a second, I think of falling from my broom, but I don't...

 "Harry?" I turn to find Cedric staring up at me, smiling. "I heard you broke Malfoy's nose..." he smirks "Ballsy, for a chick."

 I frown "I couldn't have broke Malfoy's nose... I only smacked her..." I land in the astronomy tower.

 "Nope, you straight up punched her in the nose... broke it and everything." I stare in disbelief "Yeah, so why'd ya do it?"

 I sigh "Some stuff happened last week and I kinda had a anxiety attack and ran.... she grabbed my arm and, I guess I socked her." I shrug. Why do I feel bad about socking Malfoy?

 Cedric scuffs "Do you want to talk about it?" I sigh and continue staring out into the courtyard, not wanting to talk. He sighs "I'm guessing that's a no."

 We stand there for a long time, before I readjust my shirt. I tense as soon as I feel his eyes on me. Then I feel the wind on my stomach "Harry?" he says, dryly. He's face is stern and concerned "Harry, did you do that to yourself?"

 I look down to see how much he saw. Only about half. Only about fifty. I look up at him, looking for a response. "Harry?" he steps closer "Did, you, do, this, to, yourself?" a hint of fear runs through his features.

 I pull my shirt down as far as it'll go and whisper "I'm sorry...." before he can respond, I grab my broom and run. I run through the halls of Hogwarts, frustrated with everything... especially myself.