YooHoo! (A One Piece Fan-Fiction)

Omake1. Awkwardness in the med-bay...

YooHoo! 

- An arbitrary adventure of the nautical variety -

Omake 1. Awkwardness in the med-bay...

"No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair."

-George S. Patton Jr.

Synopsis: Takes place during Chapter 10. Sadist, this is a more awkward drabble between Akiko and the Dark Doctor when he asks some more... a-hem, personal questions! Be warned for there are suggestive themes...

On finding me awake, Law had pulled up a swivel chair beside the cot, grasped a clipboard and a pen and bombarded me with medical questions. He'd scrutinised my height, age and scarily so my weight, concern uncharacteristically dripping from his face as he basically told me to eat like I never had before just in case I became borderline anorexic overnight. The harsh glint in his eyes made sweat nervously trickle down my back, because that look undoubtedly meant 'I'm watching you' and 'Don't think I won't force-feed you if needs be'. In honest truth, even if I didn't exactly want to cooperate with him, he was a doctor, and well, he knew what he was talking about. I wanted to be stubborn but I don't think I'd be able to handle physical abuse from food and tableware at every meal time because of him- I might not have the best appetite for the most part, but when it counts I can really indulge. The last I had done so was before I set off to Uni and my mother and I went to a boutique café and splurged on miniature cakes. Of which I ate about twelve, and regretted it instantly when the rich sponge and luxurious lashing of varied buttercreams and jams all wanted to hurtle back up into my gullet simultaneously.  

"Aiko-Ya? I won't ask again, Aiko-Ya..." I realise then that I've been spacing out again, and face the wrath of Law's narrowed eyes peering over the top of the clipboard like a total creeper. 

"I-I'm sorry!" I yelp, "C-c-c-could you r-repeat t-t-t-that p-please?"  

"I said 'Are you involved in any sexual relationships?'" he says in a bored monotonous voice, idly tapping the pen against his spindly jean clad knee, resting one leg crossed over the over and sprawling over the seat of the chair to the surrounding area. He looks like a humanoid leopard print spider; just ready to bite you and enjoy watching you squirm as the venom courses round your body- 

"Wh-What kind of q-q-q-question is t-t-that?!" I'm feeling a little violated, surely he doesn't need to ask me about this, right? 

"An important one, what if you needed contraceptive medications? I don't need a pregnant adolescent on my sub; I already have enough burdens..." I growl lowly at being called a thorn in his lithe side. 

"No I'm n-not!" I defend my honour, feeling hot colour pool into my cheeks with such a difficult topic to converse about. 

"Have you ever partaken in sexual intercourse?" he says grimly. 

"N-no!"  

He raises his eyebrows in mock humour, "Nineteen and no action, are you a late bloomer?"  

"T-that's not for you t-to know! And w-with my u-u-upbringing, I w-was told to wait un-until I was o-older or until m-marriage..." 

"A noble cause, eh?" 

"...P-plus the s-small fact t-t-that no o-one w-w-w-would be in-interested a-anyways..." I say almost inaudibly. If it weren't for my long hair and obviously feminine voice, I could probably pass for a member of the male persuasion which obviously does not work well in my favour in the relationships department. Not that I'd want a boyfriend just yet, I promised my mother that instead of becoming a wild child I would be studying hard and earning a degree much to her dismay. I'm as flat as an airport runway, which makes me look about twelve, again not an obvious sign to be attracted to unless I happen to run into a paedophile anytime soon. With the way things are going, perhaps I could sue Law for sexual harassment... Hmmm it's tempting... Do they even have law firms here? 

"I'm sure there's someone waiting out there for you, Aiko-Ya" I roll my eyes at his humorous attempt. He chuckles and scribbles something down, leans back on his chair then does one quick revolution, stretching out his arms and legs. I'm surprised he didn't knock into anything with how lengthy his limbs are, or fall off of his chair. That would have officially made my day, karma perhaps for all these lovely questions he's been asking me- standard procedure my arse, it's just another way for him to torture me I'm sure; it must be commonly known that he has sadistic tendencies- and if he's not careful I purposely capsize his chair in retribution! 

"Okay, last few awkward questions now Aiko-Ya... Are you pregnant?" How is he keeping a straight face through all of this? Is it part and parcel of being a doctor or is he truly not flustered?  

"How c-can I be i-if I haven't h-h-had s-s-sex?!" Seriously, is this going to keep happening? What was he expecting me to say, 'Yes' then explain just how the bloody Christmas miracle occurred; 'Oh yes Law, I'm having a child through divine intervention, don't you worry about me now, I'm feeling totally spiffy with this good news that I'm now a scientific freak show you want to 'experiment' on'... 

"There's no need to be snappy, Aiko-Ya, it's just a precautionary procedure. For all I know, you could have been having a child through artificial insemination, and that would explain the lack of intercourse." He says matter of factly, "Now, should I be aware of any sexually transmitted diseases you may be carrying?" Really?! Really Law?! Must you ask me that? I think it would be painfully obvious that I don't considering the previous answers I've just given you. 

I must have pulled a face because he scowls and growls lowly; "Just answer the question Aiko-Ya." 

"No! I-I d-d-don't!" 

Flipping over to my stomach on the rickety cot, I groan into the wafer thin pillow wishing all this awkwardness would go away.

PLAYLIST FOR THIS OMAKE:

"Love Logic" - Mayu (Produced by Daniwell)