Do you like space adventure? Do you like alien creatures? Do you like jokes?
Well, you have come to the right place!
The 'Oh No!' Anthology is a collection of short stories written by great authors of this orange world based on the same theme. In th...
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"Home, home on the range!" a man sang as he set the plasma drill to the side of a smooth, slightly rounded metal wall.
"Where critters are tied up in chains," he bellowed, increasing the volume as the plasma stream struck the side of the ship.
"I cut through their sides," he exclaimed as the plasma drill punched through the hull, and he engages the rotors to carve a circle into the metal wall.
"An I rip off their hides," he shouted, rising in volume just as the drill reaches the halfway point.
"And the next day I do it again!" he cried out, as loud as he could, just as a round piece of steel fell to the ground.
"Joanna! Let's see what the traps caught us today! If there's a neo-Eagle from Proxima B, I'll be rich enough to buy my own zoo, and we can stop poaching off these automated ships!"
The poacher Percival McLeach clicked his heels together a little more enthusiastically than he needed to activate the magnetic soles, but he was in a very good mood. The automated transport pod that he had caught was potentially a goldmine of endangered species, with hides that collectors or naturopath quacks would pay very, very well for.
"Joanna!" Percival called into small hole he had drilled into the side of the pod. His Ganymede Monitor Lizard Joanna was a fairly timid creature, but she was useful for keeping other animals in line. "Joanna! Quit laying around and do your job, you four-legged python!"
Percival heard a loud crash in the pod. Then a clatter, a screech, and a frantic rattle. Percival dashed to the door, and engaged the emergency override to drop the door.
He stormed inside, only to stop three steps in as he saw Joanna, her scaly green form quivering in the corner of a cage.
"Joanna! What do I pay you for?" McLeach bellowed, taking off his brown Akubra hat and smacking it against the cage wall. "And what in tar..."
McLeach knelt down in front of the cage, surprised to see the door was actually shut. The cage itself was perhaps a third of a cubic metre, meant for a fairly small animal. It might have closed on Joanna when she tried to climb inside and eat whatever critter was inside.
Or, judging by her pathetic, quivering state, she could be afraid of what had been in that cage.
Warily, McLeach stepped backward and scanned the small pod. And spied a small, white, furry creature with beady eyes, large ears, and oversized hind legs. The creature was only about the size of his boot, but looked wiry and fast. He didn't recognize the creature, though, which immediately made him nervous.
McLeach slowly, carefully stepped outside of the door of the pod and rested his left hand on the door controls. With his other hand, he reached inside his pocket and drew out his device, taking a picture of the creature.
He shut the door.
"Okay. What kind of vermin did Joanna tangle with this time?" McLeach asked, running a search based on the picture he took with the added parameter of 'dangerous'.
