This feeling. Is this pain? No. This feeling is worse. There's a sharp pain in my chest, and I can't breathe. Away from friends who help or don't. Sorrow is worse than pain. I grieve over a lot of things. My past choices are the main ones. What I need. I need something special. I want something real. I want something GENUINE. I'm tired of my fake personality, and fake laugh, and fake smile. I need something real. I need a closer relationship with my friends. I need a certain someone who I've mistreated in the past. Maybe she can help me through this. Sadly, I don't think that'll ever happen. She never even missed me for one second, and she shouldn't have anyway. I don't deserve to be missed. I did this to myself. I was to blind to see that I liked her, and now it's awkward if we're in the same room, even though she said she accepted my apology. I don't forgive myself. I don't even know how to describe it other than a burst of emotion.
