oneshots ; gawsten

"kiss me."

this is cute and sad and idk i love it a lot

also the ending's kinda eh but i stayed up way too late writing this (i might fix it tomorrow we'll see)

27. "kiss me."

The next few days are going to be long, their manager says.

She warns them of the amount of promo they have to do – all the interviews, the press, the performances in music stores with signings following every one – their schedule is packed for the next week to get all of it out of the way at once. That's usually how promo is done; a few days of hell and then nothing. It's hard for a week and smooth sailing for the rest.

A difficult week made even more complicated by the fact that they're not out yet, and, at this moment in time, have no plans to come out. There's nothing deterring them from doing it; everyone on their team and the whole of their management have been undoubtedly supportive – Joel and Benji are the ones who capture the most natural moments and beg to post them online.

Awsten has been stubborn in his desire to stay in the closet. Geoff understands why, even agrees, for the most part. The love he has for Awsten; the way his heart fills and overflows just from looking at him, the exploding warmwarmwarm in his chest on a daily basis...it's his.

It's a love that feels like soft, glittery clouds, all pliant and pink. It's moldable, a love that wraps around them both like a blanket, makes even the chilliest day feel heated.

Awsten feels like home. He's this place that bleeds warmth, whose touch feels like sun rays on your back, like laying out in the sun and letting it wash over your body, like sinking into the grogginess and letting sleep come over you, succumbing to the tiredness heat brings in total easiness.

It's a lot that isn't new, but feels new. Every day feels like the first. Every day he wakes up before Awsten, feels his skin against his bare chest and the blankets thrown around them, leans down to kiss Awsten's shoulder, breathes him in and pulls him closer, revels, in the fact that this boy is his and there is nothing that can change that.

Coming out would.

And it's not that publicizing their relationship would strip it of all of this. He knows that. He knows it wouldn't hurt them to be a little more transparent with the fans. It wouldn't change what they have at home, in bed, when they're alone – it wouldn't change GeoffandAwsten.

Nothing could change GeoffandAwsten.

But this love has blossomed so fluidly over the years. It felt natural. It felt right. When he kissed Awsten for the first time, it felt like the clichés, like fireworks were exploding around them, like the entire world had ceased to exist in that moment, like the only thing that mattered was the boy in his arms. Everything else was irrelevant.

The feeling has never gotten old.

They live in a sparkly pink bubble that encapsulates everything they feel for each other and its walls are paper-thin. It's a bubble that is dangerously close to popping, and telling the fans is like sending it into a needle factory.

Awsten is his.

He doesn't want to share.

...

He thinks the beeping is part of his dream at first.

It sounds like it, like he's running from something and the sounds are getting closer and closer he's trying to go faster and faster but they're coming closer and closer he can't run that fast they're coming closer it's so loud they won't stop fuckfuckfuck-