The Fire Within

Chapter 10 - A Dark Place

That night was like any other night for the people of Seattle, except maybe for a handful of them.

Sarah's hand was shaking uncontrollably as she attempted to open the door of her apartment. She drew a steady, shaky breath and turned the key, wrenching the door open. She shut the door, threw the keys and the bag on the floor and headed straight for the bathroom.

Her breath came in short pants as she clutched at the sides of the sink for support, as her legs were seconds away from collapsing. She caught her reflection in the mirror – pale and haggard, her chest rising and falling rhythmically from all the running she'd done in the past hour.

And then something strange happened. Something that hadn't happened for a very long time.

She was suddenly her twelve-year-old self, locked in the bathroom of the house that she'd loved so much, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and her body shook from the grief that threatened to consume her senses. Her younger self was replaying the conversation that had just taken place.

No! It can't be true. Please tell me you're lying..

I'm sorry, Miss. I really wish I could tell you that ..

Sarah was now aware of what was happening to her. And yet she couldn't stop it. She had no control over her emotions.

Stop lying to me! Where is he?

Her head was nearly splitting into two. She was having a panic attack after so long. It was tormenting her mind and she didn't know what was real anymore. She gasped for air, finding it hard to breathe.

And then her mother's voice came floating into her mind.

Your weakness only makes you stronger...

Sarah fought hard to remain conscious.

You're your only alibi. You can't afford to give up.

The words in her head slapped her back to reality and she suddenly opened her eyes. She collapsed onto the floor, her leg no longer able to bear the weight of her body. She sat there, motionless for a few seconds. The panic attack had receded but she still felt weak. She took several deep breaths, all the while calming herself down.

Slowly, her breathing returned to normal. She managed to get up and drag her feet slowly to the kitchen. After gulping down an entire glass of water, she felt much better. She heaved a sigh and replayed the events of the night for what felt like the hundredth time. Her mind was still in a state of shock and she was finding it extremely tough to come to terms with the incident.

She didn't get any sleep that night. Every time she'd close her eyes, the contents of the file kept staring back at her. She felt pain, grief and rage altogether. Angry that the file didn't do justice to the painstakingly huge risk she'd taken to revive it. There wasn't much information in those records. At the back of her mind, she knew she hadn't expected much from them, but she couldn't control the anger. Especially after everything she had to go through that night.

She still couldn't believe what had happened. She should've been more careful. Made sure that there was absolutely no one in the entire building. She thought she'd planned everything to perfection. And yet she overlooked a very obvious fact. And worst of all, she let her emotions get the better of her. She'd felt weak for a moment and that weakness had manifested into her physical state. She let her mind go unstable for one fleeting moment and that had caused the fall.

And then there was that one line in the file. The only thing that she didn't know about him. She'd no idea that Terry was a part of the Unspeakables. Why didn't he tell anyone about it? Wasn't it a matter of pride to belong to the topmost committee of the company? Or maybe he did tell someone and she just didn't know. But this revelation still led her to a dead end. This information wouldn't be of any use to her.

What do I do now?

She sighed and put both of her hands on her head. She needed time to think about her next plan. And she had to be extremely careful this time. She wasn't going to rush anything.

The sun had begun to rise while she lay in her bed staring at the ceiling. She knew she had to get up and get ready to be in time for office, but her body wouldn't move. She was too scared to go to the office after the night's incident and especially wasn't ready to face Kevin. Even though she couldn't see him in the record room the night before while she was hiding behind a shelf, she was certain it was him. She'd recognized his voice when he'd yelled at her to show herself. It terrified her to even think about what lay waiting for her at the office. But she also knew that if she failed to turn up, then she would definitely be considered as a suspect.

The sun was now up and shining brightly. She got up and forced herself to get ready. She didn't have the time or the appetite for breakfast, so she decided to skip it. She wasn't surprised to find dark circles beneath her eyelids and made sure it was masked by applying a generous amount of concealer. She picked up her purse, grabbed her car keys and locked the apartment door.

She was just about the descend the stairs when she heard her name being called by a woman. She turned to find Mrs. Robbins, her landlord hurtling towards her.

"Sarah! Just a moment" Mrs. Robbins called her, waving a hand dramatically.

"Hey, Mrs. Robbins", Sarah tried to smile. But her cheeks were stiff and she ended up nodding her head in acknowledgement.

"Hello, dear. I just wanted to check if you were alright. I saw you come in pretty late last night."

"Oh! Uh –," Sarah was momentarily distracted. She was obviously in a pretty bad state the previous night and hadn't taken notice of her surroundings. She'd wanted nothing more than to get inside her apartment and lock herself up. Had Mrs. Robbins seen her scrambling for the door keys and jamming it roughly into the keyhole? That would give her an awful impression of Sarah.

"I'm – I'm fine, Mrs Robbins. I was.. held up at a friend's place."

Mrs. Robbins nodded her head but didn't look convinced. She opened and closed her mouth, as if unsure whether to ask the question. Sarah waited, knowing something more was about to come. After a brief internal battle, Mrs Robbins spoke softly, as if she was consoling a crying child.

"It's just that you looked pale and upset and oh dear, your hands were trembling and..", she drifted off. After a brief moment of silence, she spoke again, "Sarah dear, I understand if you don't want to tell me what happened. I know it isn't right to interfere in your personal life, but I just couldn't see you like that. Did something bad happen dear?"

Sarah sucked in a breath. She definitely wasn't expecting to be confronted by her landlord. She stared at Mrs. Robbins, her mind calculating the possibilities and trying to come up with a valid answer. While she appreciated the woman's concern, she was keen on keeping her life private.

"It was nothing, Mrs. Robbins. Yesterday night didn't end well at my friend's place. We fought and I got really upset. Sorry to barge in and frighten you like that."

"Oh, that's nothing dear." Mrs Robbins almost looked disappointed at the answer. She quickly composed her face into a smile and said, "Don't fret over it dear, it'll all be okay."

"Thank you Mrs. Robbins." Sarah guessed she'd probably expected a dramatic breakdown or an outrageous scandal. Or even something to do with an abusing boyfriend.

"If you need anything, I'm always here."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."