Acrophilia

XXX: restless

Hours later, Jaebeom is still at the rooftop. His hands have taken a bluish colour and he can't feel them, he can barely move them, so cold, oh so cold. But that's nothing compared with the pain freezing his heart and soul, bringing a more ruthless winter that only attacks Jaebeom, with a strength that makes him cry for mercy, to end it all.

The young man has no idea what hurts more, he can't even figure out the entirety of his feelings, there's just so much. From dread to realise he was falling in love with the one person who caused his mother's accident, the person who almost cost him the person he loves the most. Regret that he became friends with Jinyoung, feeling like he betrayed his mother. Fear that all this is real and not a horrible nightmare. And so much more, it's like he's drowning and he cannot even see the surface, it's all black around him and he just can't breathe.

A nurse finds him when it's dark, the night sky as black as the torrent of emotions consuming him. The woman screams when she finds Jaebeom, kneeling in the snow, so still as if he was frozen in that place. The man doesn't react no matter how loud the woman shouts, she has to actually drag him out of the rooftop and call for help to save him from hypothermia. Jaebeom isn't aware of what's happening, but he isn't unconscious yet. Even if his body has been exposed to the cold, soaked wet from the melted snow under him, his mind can't give up and keeps torturing him. He spends the night at the hospital, but he's never asleep, he's just in agony. Constant agony, feeling lost and desperate.

Only one voice can bring him back from the shock trance, and that's his mother when she comes in the morning to the hospital.

"Im Jaebeom!" She screams and that works, only when the voice bounces in the walls of the room he was put, louder, stronger and cleared since she woke up from the coma, Jaebeom can actually see what's in front of him.

Finally, he feels the cold that still lingers to his bones. Finally he feels the pain of his burnt hands. Finally he feels the heartache, stronger than anything else. And he sees his mother, struggling to make her way to him, her face painted with worry and fear.

Jaebeom starts crying again, just at the sight of his mother. The guilt and the horror of finding out the truth choking him, and it's even worse because he knows he can't tell her anything.

"Eomma," he whispers, cracked and barely audible, his tone stained with so much sorrow.

"My boy... my boy..." she cries, finally getting to his side, grabbing one of his bandaged hands and squeezing it tight. It hurts so much, but Jaebeom doesn't mind... he even feels like he deserves that pain. "Why are you here?"

No clue. Jaebeom has no clue how to explain how he ended up staying hours in the snow, first crying and then just in shock.

Instead, he just apologises. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry."

For staying in the snow and almost losing his hands?

For being reckless?

Or for befriending Jinyoung?

Jaebeom himself doesn't know exactly what he's apologising for, he just feels so sorry towards his mother.

"How did you end up like this? What happened?"

"I'm sorry," he continues answering to all her questions, no matter how she poses them, Jaebeom can only say he's sorry.

Ultimately, his mothers gives up and just comforts him. With her there, the staff move him to a private room that to his horror is on the same floor as Jinyoung's is. He can barely breathe when he realises that, but he cannot explain what's wrong.