au inside an au?

part three: what

       The first thing Dean thinks is  holy shit why is it so cold?
Then he's slammed with memories of what happened. The witch. Sammy at the crime scene, just left there and Cas. Cas utterly broken in the front seat. His head flung at an odd angle and his body just like a rag doll. The blood that dripped from his nose and leaked from his forehead . Dean knew this would always stay with him. A sob escaped Dean as he realized that he's never going to look into Cas's blue blue eyes again. Or run his fingers through his hair. Or smile as he kissed Dean on the nose, trying to 'give every freckle the attention it deserves' as Cas said. Dean would never wake up next to the man he loves again, he would never roll over and wrap his arms around Cas, or kiss his bare shoulder for no other reason than loving him. The sobs were coming one after the other now. They rattled Dean's chest and he didn't care that it wasn't manly. He loved Cas and he got him killed. Dean didn't know where he was and couldn't bring himself to care. He knew Sammy would be alright, he can handle himself. Dean screamed into the darkness of his room.
It looked like a hospital room, and smelled like one too. The sky outside was as dark as....no, Dean couldn't even think it. Dean lay there and watched the shadows on the ceiling until he fell asleep. Even in sleep though, he couldn't escape Cas and what he did to him.

                Cas threw his head back and laughed. He laughed so hard he couldn't breathe and his face turned red. Dean reaches out a hand and puts it on Cas's cheek. Cas turns his face into Dean's hand and kisses his palm. "I love you Dean" Cas said, looking into Dean's eyes. "I know." Dean said. Dean leaned in and pressed his lips to Cas's. They stayed like that for a long time, with Dean's hands on Cas's face and Cas's hands on Dean's waist.

Dean tosses in his sleep.

Dean's eyes flutter open slowly as Cas presses his finger to his face repeatedly. Dean squints his right eye open. Cas is shirtless as is Dean, and he has his right hand under his cheek on the pillow, his other hand is poking Dean's face.   "Cas." Dean mumbles.  
"Hm?" Cas hums.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Cas stops poking Dean but leaves his hand on his face.
"I'm trying to count your freckles." He said honestly. "Mm, okay." Dean says and falls asleep to the rythmic touch of  Cas's hand.
        Dean flails for Cas on the bed before remembering what happened. Cas wasn't there. He would never be there again. Dean rolls over and hugs the pillow to his chest. He cries and cries and cries. He doesn't think he'll ever stop. The tears are hot down Dean's face and he's angry. It should've been him. Cas didn't deserve that. All he does is help people. Dean tries to push all the thoughts out of his head and fights sleep. He lays there hugging the pillow  until light breaks through the window casting dull yellow rays across the room.

Dean looks over as the door clicks open. A woman with dark hair pulled into a ponytail and a long doctor's coat walks in. She walks to the bed and checks the machines that Dean hasn't noticed before. 
"How we feeling Jen?" She asked him.
Dean just stared at her. "Not talking huh? Well you're vitals are all good and you're awake so we're going to go ahead and let your visitors come in." She says, putting on gloves. She reaches toward Dean and he flinches away violently.
She looks alarmed. "Jen, I'm not gonna hurt you."
"Wh- why do you keep calling me Jen? Who are you?" He asks as she pulls his eyebrow up and shines a light in his eye.
"I'm doctor Smith." She says it as if he should know her."Anyways, your visitors will be up soom."

a while after the doctor leaves the door opens again and a girl he's never seen before walks in and rushes to his side.
She flusters her hand around his face like she wanted to touch him, but didn't want to break him.
"Oh, Jensen, honey!" She says, the concern clear on her face. Jensen. Jensen.  I've heard that name before. But he just cannot remember where.
The woman has a nice thin frame and long light brown hair. Her lips are painted red and her eyes are lined in black. "Baby, you remember me right? Callie said you might not remember but- but you do right? Me and JJ and the twins?" He just looks at her. He didn't want to hurt her but he honestly did not know this woman. She puts a hand on his head and tells him it's okay and not to talk. She makes a call and tells someone to 'bring  the kids up'.
Not too long after the call Sam walks into the room and he has to do a double take. Of course Sam would come see him. But something was off. Sam was with Ruby, and this whole situation seemed like deja Vu. Ruby seemed like she was nice. But Ruby isn't nice. Sam was holding twins. A boy and a girl and they looked alot like the girl sitting by his bed. He glanced at her and she smiles weakly at him. He looks back to Sam. Ruby is holding a baby in a pink blanket. She's holding a little boys hand. The little boy is cute, he looks exactly like Sam did when he was with Jess. But he also looked exactly like Ruby. Spitting image of both of them. He had dark hair and eyes. The little boy was holding another little boys hand who looked exactly like him, he just had lighter hair. They were clearly brothers and clearly they were related to Sam because the resemblance was uncanny. But it was also like that to Ruby. But Sam wouldn't have kids with Ruby....would he?
The second little boy is holding a girls hand. The girl is a little behind Sam. She had blonde hair and looked a little like the woman by his bed. She must look like her dad.
"Sam?" He asks quietly. At first he looks like he's going to answer, but then his face falls.
He shakes his head, puzzled "No Jen." He says. Sam looks to Ruby, clearly talking without words.
Ruby askes Dean "What's my name?"
He looks at her. "Ruby" he says. He doesn't have the energy to be mean or spit the word at her. Her face looks like he just confirmed what she was thinking.
No one was explaining anything so he took it upon himself to ask.
"Sam." He says. Sam looks at him, his eyebrows slightly raised "yeah?"
"Why do you have all these kids, and why are you with Ruby, and-" he points at the red lipsticked girl "who is that?"
Everyone looks sad at this question.
"Well." Sam looks like he's struggling with his answer.
"Uh-this is my wife, Genevieve, we call her gen." He says turning toward Ruby. Dean is astounded and doesn't say anything. Sam  nods at the taller of boys and says "This is our son Tom and -"he nods to the other boy "this is Austin, our other son."
Dean nods slowly. "And what about her, and them?" He says pointing at the little girl and the three babies.
"Well, this is our daughter Odette." He says jerking his chin towards the baby in Ruby's arms. "And this." He says shifting slightly so the little girl was completely visible. "Is your daughter JJ, and this is your son Zeppelin and his twin sister Arrow."
Dean was in shock. His kids? He had kids?! "That's not right. That's crazy."
"No!" The lady besides his bed jumps in. "No, honey it's not crazy. I'm still your wife and that's still our family, even if you don't remember we will always love you and we're not leaving." She grabs his hand and he notices the ring. He has one to.
"No,no you don't understand im-" he broke off knowing that whatever this was if he said he wasn't their dad or whatever it would break that little girls heart. He couldn't do that. Then he remembered.
      When him and Sam were on a case they got shoved into an alternate reality. This is what that is, right? How do I get back? So....Cas isn't actually dead? His heart speeds up at the thought and the monitors beep like crazy. Danneel, I think that's her name, walked to Sam and took the twins from him and her and Ru- her and Gen left the room followed by all the kids. Sam, or Jared as gen called him walked to the bed.
"We need you to get better dude."
But there was only one thought on Dean's mind.
"Cas." He croaked.
"We called. Misha is on his way."
Misha? I don't want a Misha! I want cas!
But he doesn't say this.

He lays in bed and stares at the silver table beside it. He didn't touch the food they brought him. They said  "Misha" was on his way but that it was a long drive.
Later that night he hears voices down the hall.
"-if he's asleep!.."
"I'll wake Him up!"
There were hurried footsteps and the door burst open.
Cas.
Caswas right there and he was alive. No blood. No witches. Just cas.
He was wearing a t shirt and jeans instead of his trench coat and suit but Dean filed that away for later because he liked it. But right now  all he could focus on was that Cas was in the room with him. He rushed forward and hugged Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas's back and held on for dear life.
"Cas" he breathed.Cas pulled away and looked into Dean's face. "Jensen what are you talking about? It me, Misha!"
"No." Dean shakes his head. "I don't know a Misha,that's not even a real name!"
After they consulted the nurse Dean over heard her tell them that he was 'getting life confused with the show because of the crash'