sympathy ~ e.d.

XX

'Okay, these stars tonight are really pretty.' 'I told you so! I mean, the stars are always pretty, they keep you company, make you feel less lonely.' They really put something in that medicine. I've become happy and bubbly all of a sudden. I'm talking about stars like they're the greatest thing ever. It feels like they are at the moment. 

Ethan sits up and pulls his legs toward him so he can rest his arms on his knees. I sit up as well, following his lead. 'What's wrong?' 'I just... nevermind.' 'E, you've made curious now. Tell me.' His eyes look everywhere but into mine. He's obviously hiding something.

'No, it's nothing.' 'It is something, you're avoiding my gaze.' 'I'm not.' His eyes still avoid mine. 'Are you scared of eye contact now?' I gently grab the sides of his face so I can force him to look at me. 'I am when it's with you.' His barely audible whisper seems to be loud.

'It's like you can look right through me. It's like you see every part of me, like you've figured me out before I even did. And I'm scared you might find things I don't want you to know.' 'Like what?' I ask him gently. I am curious now.

My hands are now on his hands, which are laying on top of his knees. They seem so small and nearly helpless compared to his.

'I... I don't know if I should tell you this, Zee. Maybe later. Now tell me something about yourself. Just for real. As if this is our first meeting.'

I sit up beside him and rest my head on his shoulders. I'm still able to see the outlines of the trees from where we're sitting, on my roof.

'I don't know how or where to start.' 'Shall I begin then?' I nod slightly, knowing his shoulder will feel every movement my head makes. 'Well, my name is Ethan Grant Dolan. I was born in New Jersey, I love basically all sports. Um, I have a twenty minutes younger twin Grayson, who you've already met, and an older sister Cameron who's currently in college. My favorite color is most likely clear and... I don't know. Any questions from the class?' I chuckle at his goofiness.

'Your birthday. When is it?' I ask him. 'I was born on December 16th, 1999. Your turn.'

'Okay, you know I hate this. Um, I was born in Pennsylvania but we've moved a lot. No siblings, I love running I guess. Oh, and my full name is Zera Silva Tate Laden, apparently my parents couldn't decide on just one name. My birthday is on November 23rd which is ironically cashew nut day. 1999 as well.'

'What's a random thing not a lot of people know about you?' I look down. I need to think about that. 'I think that would be that I have really small freckles when I've been in the sun a lot?' It comes out more like a question than an answer to his question. 'I already knew. What's a random fact you think I don't know about you?'

'That's harder. Um... Maybe that I can speak a bit of German? My aunt is German, and she taught me a few words when I was young. I don't speak it that much.' 'Oh, that's so cool. Tell me something.' I knew he would ask that.

'Ich denke das ich dich sehr mag. Danke.'

'That honestly sounds so cool. What did you say?' 'Not telling. So, tell me a random thing about you.' 'Um, Grayson and I used to wrestle and I completely bleached my hair into a bright yellow color when I was young.' I laugh when imagining that, it must have looked ridiculous.

'Can I ask you something?' Ethan suddenly says. 'You already did but sure.' I know he's smiling right now. 'About your family. Are you alright? Is your family alright?'

I let out a bitter chuckle and remove my head from his shoulder, sitting up straighter. 'You don't even have a clue how messed up my family is. I mean, my dad is somewhere in Europe with the woman he cheated with on my mom, if that makes sense. He's never here, the only thing he does is send me a birthday card whenever he remembers my birthday, sometimes with some cash. My mom has turned herself to her work, nearly completely neglecting me. So no, it's not completely alright.' I then realized I spilled everything I didn't want him to know at first. I calm down a bit. 'I don't know why I am saying this.' It must be the drugs they had given me at the hospital, combined with the fact it is late at night or something.