My Man

Chapter 5

Arthit's POV

Have you ever felt you are going to burst into a million pieces because of the conflicting emotions battling inside you, that overwhelmed you beyond words?

Well, that's exactly how I felt when I saw Kongpob on that day in the meeting room. I was surprised, happy, shocked, sad, and nostalgic. More than everything I felt something pull at my heartstrings on hearing him call out my name.

God how I wanted to forget the whole world and run into his arms to be wrapped in a warm hug that I was so used to.

How I wanted to cry into his shoulders with his soothing scent engulfing me when I cried.

How I wanted him to kiss me senseless knocking out my breath leaving me a disoriented mess.

How I wanted him to make love to me in an animalistic need that would drive me to shout his name in the throes of passion, loud enough to shatter the walls.

And how I wanted to hear him say those three words "Love you, P'Ai-Oon" again, at least once.

Well, those may be the things my heart wanted. But there is this innate enemy inside us called a brain that brings up the unpleasant memories pushing the heart's desire to the backseat. As fast the rush of adrenaline from seeing him had propelled me to go into his arms, my brain had stopped that thought instantly by bringing up an image of why I left him in the first place. The brutal recall made me stay rooted to the ground with just my eyes reaching out for the man before me, taking in every inch of him. My eyes stopped their scanning route, the moment it landed on the lit-up cancer stick between his fingers, slowly losing its life to fire.

He had started to smoke again.

Was that after I left? Was that because of me? I had been the reason for him to stop at one point in time. Now I am not sure anymore. While I don't know the reasons for him to pick up the deadly habit again, the rational part of me was telling that I had no right to even be angry at him for it, since I no longer held any influential part in his life. That hurt more than I thought it would despite it being the truth. I couldn't deny the slight disappointment I felt when I saw him then.

As if my thoughts had burned him, he hissed after a moment shaking his hand when the cigarette made contact with the floor. Okay, maybe it's just the cigarette.

Had he completely erased everything about me from his life? Even my one or two disapprovals that mostly concern his health? Do they no more hold any importance to him since I am no longer his lover? Above all why am I irritated with his smoking habit of all things?

I have so many important questions that required attention rather than my boyfriend's masochistic addiction with burning up his lungs.

No. Ex-boyfriend.

I winced as soon as the last thought popped up on my mind.

"Oh, baby. I missed you so much."

My eyes shot open as soon as I heard those words. I looked up to be met with the eyes of the man before me, who was still standing there in obvious shock. Judging from the way his eyes were drilling holes into my form, his gaze must have been fixated on me this entire time. For a moment I thought it was him who had uttered those words. I was proved wrong the next second when I heard Prem continue to talk.

"Why didn't you call Wad? You have no idea how broken I was. How could you do this to me? Baby, please talk to me" Prem pleaded his voice so desperate that even I had trouble keeping a straight face without tearing up.

However, his words didn't seem to get through to his unrelenting husband who was sitting in a chair with his arms folded and his head down. Wad's jaw clenched on hearing Prem's voice. Guessing from the way he was avoiding Prem's eyes and looking anywhere but his pleading husband, he didn't want to see him either. Either that or he too was going through an inner turmoil to either give in to his lover's pleas or to stand his ground for whatever had driven him to apply for a divorce.