Finding Faith (2)

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

"She must have coliced some time this morning," the vet tells me as he secures a tarp over Luck's still body.

I solemnly look down at the shape under the green plastic. The weight of what's happened presses on my shoulders and I feel some anxiety bubble up in my stomach. What will Judy say? How on earth am I going to explain that her horse died while it was in my care? How am I supposed to to tell her that it's my fault one of her best horses is dead?

A few tears slip out from my eyes and drop into the shavings below. This will have ruined everything. Not only did an amazing horse die because of me, but my reputation will be ruined. No one will bring their horses to me anymore after this.

"Call me when you have arrangements for her to be buried...I'm sorry," he clasps a hand on my shoulder and walks away.

Hands trembling, I walk back to the house. I can't bear to be in the stable with the dead mare. It's all just to much for me to handle right now. These drafts were supposed to help me get back on my feet! They were supposed to help me make a comeback. And now, because I let myself stray too far away and become distracted, one was dead.

Dead.

I can't stop the word from repeating in my mind. It's a word that has become all to common in my list of popular vocabulary. My parents, dead. The mare, dead. I know that the events do not relate to each other in any sort of size or scale, but they were still living souls, plucked from under my watch.

The horses never should have been left with Dylan. I knew he was incompetent but I never thought something this dramatic could have happened. I know I need to talk with him and ask what happened, but I'm so disappointed in him that talking with him would only make matters worse. the person I really need to talk to is Judy.

It takes me ten whole minutes to muster the courage to call her. I don't understand how I'm just supposed to tell her that her horse died. Her most prized and valued horse! When I finally do manage to dial her number, each ring makes my heart beat a little faster.

To my relief, it's not Judy that answers, but Garth, "Sadie! We didn't expect to hear from you so soon...is everything ok over there?"

Swallowing hard, I place a hand on my forehead in an attempt to calm down, "No actually, it isn't. Is Judy there?"

I can hear the hesitation in his voice when he answers, "She's not actually. She flew down to Calgary this morning for a business meeting. She won't be back for a few days. Is it something to do with their training?"

"Not exactly," I say sadly.

"Well you can tell me," I can now hear the anxiety in his tone. I forgot that they're his horses as well...he has a right to be worried.

I just manage to force out the words, "Luck's dead. She coliced sometime during hr night and I wasn't here. I found her this morning. I'm sorry....I'm so sorry."

Garth doesn't say anything. I'm just starting to wonder if he hung up on me when he finally sighs, "Is the body still there?"

"Yeah...I didn't know what to do. I called the vet and he covered her up but I thought you'd like to bury her. He told me to call him when I had a plan," I explained, relieved that Garth didn't sound to angry. Probably just disappointed.

"I'll be there with my trailer in about fifteen minutes...will I be able to back it into the stable?"

"Yeah, I think it's wide enough," I look out the kitchen window to see if I can get a good estimate on the stable's entrance.

"Alright, sit tight and don't do anything with her then." And with that, he hangs up.

I occupy myself by tidying up the kitchen. Piling old dishes in the sing, folding dirty tea towels and scrubbing down the counter. Nothing I do can stop the image of Luck's sunken eyes and breathless body from entering my mind. Over and over and over again until Garth's truck finally pulls up in front of the stable.

Bracing myself, I walk out to meet him. He smiles. It's a sad smile, but a smile nonetheless, "Garth....I am so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I just got home, went to check on them and she was dead."

I duck my head so that he can't see the tears trickle down my cheeks. They're more tears of shame, rather than of sadness. I feel the light touch of his hand on my shoulder as he leans down and tries to look me in the eye.

"Sadie," he starts with a sigh, "that's life. And it's part of owning and working with horses. You love them as much as you can, but no matter how well you look after them, tragedy's like this will happen. You can't avoid it, because it's a natural cycle. Luck didn't die because you did something wrong. She died because she got sick and couldn't do anything about it. I don't blame you, and neither will Judy. We've both been in the horse business long enough to understand that shit like this is going to happen whether we like it or not."

"So you're really not mad?" I clear my face, embarrassed of the tears. He should be the one crying. It's his goddamn horse.

He smiles, "Not one bit. Just sad. She was a good horse and we had high hopes for her, but there will be others. Lots of others. And we'll always remember what a fighter she was."

His pep talk has lightened the weight on my shoulders, "I guess we better get her loaded up then. She's on a tarp so if you back the trailer in we can probably push her up the ramp or something like that."

Nodding wordlessly, he walks back to the truck and then proceeds to carefully back it up to the far corner of the stable where Luck's body is spread out on the tarp. Without saying anything, I open the back door to the trailer and pull down the ramp. I then take one corner of the tarp, and he takes the other. Pulling as hard as I can, we manage to somehow get her fully in the trailer. Good thing it's so wide.

"So...you're not going to take the other horses?" I ask.

He looks around at the drafts," Why on earth would I do that?"

"I don't know, I just thought you'd want to take them or something. Since Luck died."

Yet again, he sighs, "You're a fantastic horsewoman, Sadie. This doesn't define you."

With that, he leaves. I can't believe it. He wasn't mad. This won't ruin me. It's still too much...I need to go for a ride.

~~~~~~~

A/N:

HOLY CRAP GUESS WHAT I UPDATED WHAT IS LIFE DON'T HATE ME CAUSE IT SUCKS I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN LITERALLY A YEAR I JUST REALLY WANTED TO UPLOAD AND IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY DON'T HATE ME OK BYE