Encounters

Middle | Green

There comes a point where, inevitably, your crush crushes you. It was sad realisation upon my part, nothing new but nevertheless it was an unfortunate circumstance. I can't even remember when I started to like Grey but since I've started, I can't even imagine not liking him. I hate it. He's Blue's boyfriend and I should be long over him but I'm not and I hate it.

When we stopped sitting next to one another in english, it made things easier. Not having to see his face everyday and hear the little giggles between Blue and Grey eased the guilt as well. Now I was left with his back and a million what ifs. What if I had asked first? What if Blue wasn't my friend? Would the guilt lessen then? What if we never sat next to one another in science? What if he liked me? What if, what if, what if. 

I hadn't old anyone because there was no one for me to tell. My best friend was the last person I wanted to tell so who was left for me? I had other friends but this wasn't the type of thing we talked about and how would they see me afterwards? They'd see me as the girl who liked her best friend's boyfriend. 

Then, in english, we had a six week project with the person next to us which we were meant to complete out of school. That was the story of how I ended up in Forests' bedroom. I don't know how he, basically a stranger, seemed to work out that I liked Grey quicker than people who had known me for years. He said it was based off of my 'longing' looks and my reaction was a confirmation. I didn't believe him. I never looked longingly at Grey anymore because my guilt would always cut it to short glances. But I confided in him nevertheless. It seemed I was sick of keeping it in. 

That's usually where any normal interaction would end. With a deep, meaningful conversation about pent up feelings. But somehow, and I don't know how, but words became kisses and kisses blossomed into something else. All in one evening.