Hurts like hell!

I am (not) okay

The video above inspired me to write this 👆👆

Maya's POV
"Yes Lucas?" I tried hiding my crying voice
"What's wrong maya?" He asked
"Nothing is wrong." I said through gritted teeth
"So step out?" He said and I could almost se him smirking
"Get outta here huckleberry..." I mumbled to myself and wiping my tears the best I could, I stepped out.
"Hey maya." He said, grinning
"Hey ranger rick." I pursed my lips
"Why so moody doody?" He Said laughing
I rolled my eyes but could not suppress a small smile which appeared on my face, he smiled even more when he saw me grinning.
"What were you doing?" He said
"I am a girl. I got stuff to do rangerrrrr rrrrroy!" I said snapping my fingers under his face, he stared laughing. I didn't laugh, why would I? But I was happy to see him happy! I was happy to see Riley happy! I was happy when Farkle helped Riley confess he feelings toward her! I was happy when, Riley was dating Lucas and Farkle was dating Smackle and zay was dating Vanessa. I have always been happy for them, when was the last time I was happy for myself? It was the time when I acted I like Josh so that Riley thinks she and Lucas have nobody in their way....oh no yet again it was a sacrifice for Riley.
I hadn't realised another tear had slid from my eye.
"Maya?" Lucas said taking a step forward and towards me, I stepped back, he took another step and I stepped back . I guess he understood because this time he stepped back too.
"Thanks." I mumbled
"Your welcome maya." Lucas sighed
"Go." I said because obviously I don't want to fall for him though I have but this time it's Riley and it's going to be her.
"Maya I don't want to." Lucas said sheepishly
"Please. Please go away." I whispered as I begged
"No...I know what you did maya. Why maya?" He said and I looked up and saw tears running down his eyes
"Why?" I whispered
"Maya! I know, I know you sacrificed, you made me do it. I care  about you maya. Please tell me why you did this to me?" He whispered back
"What did I do to you?" I asked
"Why did you make me choose Riley?" He said
"Because you like her." I said and as I said it I didn't believe it
"Maya..." he whispered and fresh set of tears rolled down his eyes
I broke down a breath as I realised what has happened
"You like me! Lucas you like me." I whispered for confirmation to which I got two nods of his head
"I do maya." And he started sobbing, not the silent tears. They were sobs showing me how broken and hopeless he is.
"Sorry huckleberry." I whispered, he looked up stared into my eyes and with a flip he got up and walked over to me, I staggered back until I pushed he sinks, he put his lips on mine and just kept them there without moving.
He pulled back.
"She cannot know." I mumbled thinking of Riley
He nodded
"I will be you friend maya, forever." Lucas said and wiped away his tears
And for once I had hoped that he might help me out of this but instead...