And then he kisses me hard on my lips, he kisses me and the faint hesitation of fourteen years is released in one beautiful moment, I put my hand on the small of his back, pulling him closer and closer, needing more and more of him.
We bike to Ben's house, and his room takes my breath away. Every wall is plastered with photos, newspaper clippings, and maps about Derry's history.
"Wow," Richie says.
"Cool, huh?" Ben smiles, Bev is beaming and jumps on to his bed.
"No, nothing cool," Richie says, touching the wall. Bill picks up something on the desk and looks at it.
"What's that?" I ask, pointing at something.
"Oh, that? That's the charter for Derry township," Ben explains.
"Nerd alert!" Richie exclaims, I shove him.
"Be fucking nice," I mutter. Richie just rolls his eyes and shoves me back, harder.
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"No, no it's really actually very interesting. Derry started as a beaver trapping camp."
"Still is, am I right boys?" Richie says. I roll my eyes at Stan rejects a high five from him.
"Ninety-one people signed the charter that made Derry, but later that winter they all disappeared without a trace."
"The entire camp?" Eddie asks.
"E-everyone?" Bill asks. My stomach drops and my palms go sweaty.
"There were rumors of Indians but no sign of an attack. Everybody just... Thought it was a plague or something. But it's like.. One day everybody just woke up and left. The only clue was a trail of bloody clothes leading to the well house." Ben says. My heart is beating hard, all I can think about is Georgie. Georgie and the bloody clothes. My throat feels like its closing up. I ball and unball my fists.
"....Jesus." Eddie says. Everyone is quiet.
Georgie and the bloody clothes. Georgie and the bloody clothes. My voice breaks, "I can't." I say, and I walk out of Ben's room, wiping a tear off my cheek and keeping my head down.
I sit on a closed toilet lid in Ben's bathroom for a couple minutes, collecting myself. I think about Bill's smile, and hugging him at the Quarry. Once I'm okay again, I start back to Ben's room. Just as I'm about to open the door, I hear them talking about me.
"Nevada's really fucking sensitive," Richie says.
"Yeah, why was she, like, crying?" Bev asks.
"It's Georgie. She gets r-r-really emotional when he comes up, she doesn't know how to c-cope." Bill explains, "she can't control herself." I can't control myself? That's what he thinks of me? I'm like some emotional wreck that can't be constrained?
"She needs to get a grip," Eddie says. "I mean I know everything is hard right now, but we're trying to help." My stomach drops. So this is what they all think of me.
I push the door open, "yeah I do need to get a fucking grip, Eddie. I'm way too sensitive and emotional. Well don't worry, I'll stay out of your way. I'm no help if I can't control myself," I glare and storm out of Ben's house, grabbing my bike and pedaling away. If I went home they would be able to find me, so I go where they wouldn't expect, the sewers.
