'JOURNEY OF A BROKEN HEART...'

SHE LEFT HEARTACHE AND RUINS IN HER WAKE

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And just like any clichéd life my starts and ends in heartache. Typical I know. Just the first heartache isn't even close to mine, I just caused it.

For a while we pretended that we didn't have to end it. I was crying and so was he. But we both knew we'd have to say goodbye, I could barley hold everything inside, but I was a sadist, possessing and claiming the feeling of being in control, yet still cherishing the feeling of being submissive.

Being submissive was practically being in control. The dominant can't survive without the submissive, because without them the dominant wouldn't exactly be dominant.

I always loved the idea of causing pain as carry as it is and was, it comforts me, it's exhilarating knowing that you the cause of one's screams of pain.

And right now while his begging for mercy, not for me to tear him apart, it's edging me further. It's crazy but I love it.

I recall promising  not to go unless he let me go, that's the reason I'm leaving him. Although it might not seem like it but he let me go.

Pathetic his still begging, it's funny how just yesterday I was in ruins myself and maybe that's the reason for my 'revenge of the ruins', because he was the cause of my ruins.

Grandma always warned me about boys, all types except the green-eyed. Oh they were a disaster waiting to happen.

It's simple he was a storm, I was a tornado. We clashed and became a tornado storm. Leaving ruins in its wake. But I was the submissive, the one in control...

She left heartache and ruins in her wake...
****

2 More minutes before I'm there, ugh I'm nervous, what will he do?
how will he react?
what will he say?
would he want me to stay?
would he let me go?
I'm dying to know.

This is the moment, the moment I've been waiting for. HEARTBREAK, pure heartbreak.

As the car comes to a stop in look out the window. The dark figure looming just across the lake. His here.

Time to do this.  Stepping out of the car, grabbing the black hoodie he gave me, I start stalking towards him.

I guess he noticed me, as he gave a small wave. Brandon. His here and I'm doing this.

"Hey" should I start with hey? Ok let's start with hey. "Hey, I'm glad you made it", it was barely a whisper.

Expecting him to greet back, he doesn't he just stares at me, as if he could see right through my soul, as if. Those things just happen in books.

Heads up brain this is the real world.

"Look, I'm doing this, we doing this. I love you, you love me, you see that's just too much loving, I can't do this anymore, you need to let me go." Not standing the way his just staring at me I simply throw his hoodie on the wet grass and turn to stalk off.

"Why?", that's all he said, all he asked. I planned everything how his gong to react but this, this isn't it. I'm not prepared for this.

"I had a choice, you or him. I choose you. Days upon days, I felt bad, bad for not choosing him but you changed that. You made me fall, so far deep I can't climb out of the hole I dug myself. You didn't even come to get me, never once tried to save me, and you asking why. I regret choosing you, the pick was outspoken for, I chose wrong. I thought we could have been the it couple, the destined mates, I thought we could be inlove. But you ruined that and now it's my turn to ruin you. I finally realised after it was too late that we could never be lovers. We were merely just two love sick puppies, maybe it wasn't love, maybe it was just infatuation. That's the thing maybe it was just that we fell inlove with the idea of loving. I never realised that I could be wrong, I never thought you'd lie and cheat me like this.  It's true...
Real Eyes
Realise
Real lies
It's too late to regret, I just need to move on."

Ripping my hand out of his hold I felt some sort of power, some sort of reassurance that I got my revenge, some sort of misconception that I could always be in control.

I turned around and walked away. Leaving my pain behind. Leaving my heart behind. Leaving my soul behind.eaving myself behind. Leaving him behind...

The only flaw and fault of me that day was that I thought I would always be in control, that I'll always be able to leave them behind. I left my heart and soul behind. Leaving me unkind and shattered. Unforgiving, unsatisfied and not in control...

SHE LEFT HEARTACHE AND RUINS IN HER WAKE...