For a Heart

The first stroke

I finally got the courage to upload it. I hope this is good. Ah, I love these boys. Let's have a lot of fun with this.

Being home after a show is always great. It's not like being on the stage in front of thousands of people is not fun just, it can be tiring and exhausting.

Even if he was trained for it does not mean Kim Taehyung was in any way ready to go again without some kind of rest first. What he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and not get up again for a few days.

This all started when he started feeling off a few weeks back. As a person, Tae was really straightforward, not giving a damn about anyone and doing what he wanted or that was what he showed but in reality, he felt every criticism aimed at his way. It lingered in his mind later when he was lazing in his bed all alone.

That was why when he started to feel off he thought nothing of it and started to practice harder. After all, he had made it to the dance line. He needed to prove himself capable of the honour.

Turns out it was a really bad idea on his part. It started with little chest pains which passed in a second or two. In between the busy schedule of the new comeback and the preparation of fiesta he paid it no mind. What used to be two seconds turned to a minute, then two till the pain came and went away for five minutes.

He should have gotten it checked out but the timing never matched. It had only happened in the dorm till now and he had been out of everyone's way and as fans accused, will not cause the group more trouble.

He had an attack right before leaving for the life stage and it had been the worst yet. It has lasted more than five minutes and he felt as if his chest was on fire. He was almost immobile for fifteen minutes before he willed himself to stand up and move his feet.
He was shaking but no one asked anything. Pre-stage nerves were still very prominent in most Bangtan members, even after five years of continuous stage performances. Putting a happy smile on his face was easier done than anyone had thought. Emotional pain cut more deeply than the physical one but after a while, you get used to the false front you present.

He had almost ruined a performance because of a brief second of pain but had managed to hang on the last second. He didn't want ARMY to worry or fans to criticise him for ruining the performance.

The relief he felt at ending the concert cannot be imagined. All he wanted to do was to lie down and sleep and maybe not wake up for next few days.

Not that it was possible with the scheduled dance practice the next day.
Lying in bed was the best, you could relax your body and calm your mind and just not think about anything. Not think about how he was alone while others were with their significant ones. Sometimes it got lonely being the only one who did not have the love of a lover. Like right now when the others were out on dates where he was, alone and miserable.

Scolding himself to not go down that path he tried to drive the attention somewhere else. No use crying over spilt milk. He had missed his chance to tell his crush his feelings when there was time and even if he loved the other he no longer can will himself to spoil the happiness other had obtained after such hard work.
He did not want to taint the other because of his bad luck. It was better if he was alone.

"Taehyung~~ are you alright? You were out of form today" Son Sungdeuk disappointed voice opened the door to his room. He had not talked to his mentor after the performance in fear of this very thing and nowhere in front of him getting told this made his chest burn and tighten. The pain intensified as his heart rate quickened. This was bad. It had not happened before and it was painful.

Suffocating.

He felt as if he could not breathe, all his attention was focused on his chest and breathing. The teacher was yelling at him now, was it for his failure of not being up to par? Will he be demoted again? Was this the end?

" - a doctor - hang on - breath - "

The pain was dreadful but it was passing. He could focus again. Just focus on the voice and breath. Breath again.

"You alright"

Using all the energy to nod because he could not speak yet, Tae opened his eyes which somewhere has shut themselves on their own accord to look into the worried eyes if his choreographer.

"This happens sometimes though not as bad as this. I'll be alright"

Forcing himself to speak was difficult when all he wanted to do was sleep but he managed somehow. The choreographer did not look impressed at all.

"Doctor is on the way. Tell me your prescription and doctors slip. We need to get everything in order and get you checked out"

"What doctors slip?"

And yeah, he really should have gotten himself checked out before because Sungdeuk looked mad at him.
Great, all he wanted to do was sleep but looks like its impossible now.

This is the first on wattpad for me and my first BTS fic period. Hope you like it. If you like this do tell me. I'm always open to suggestions and ideas from you lovely people.