Loud Music

Over again -18

18

Over again

It was nice just to spend some time alone. I had been spending all my free time fighting with one guy or the other. Now I've been spending time with my mom and dad a lot more lately.

I've been so used to being alone before, and it does make it hurt more. I know I make no sense, but to sum it up, I'm happy. Justin comes over once and a while. We told my parents that we're just friends. He really is a great friend.

I'm not quite sure what Ryan is doing these days. I think they are recording with Mike Poser. I don't know. I just know they're not doing it at blackbird, and they're done with my dad. It's my fault. I know it is.

My dad is okay with it though. He gets to spend more time with my mom. He really loves her. I think he would go crazy if I wasn't here when mom was gone.

There was a knock at the door. Justin and I are going shopping today; I need a new warm jacket. I opened the door to see Ryan.

"Hi," He said simply.

"Hi," I bit my lip. I missed Ryan's voice. His lips... His hair...

"You want to go out for lunch?" Ryan asked.

"Sure, give me a sec," I walked to the kitchen, and texted Justin to postpone shopping. I walked back to the door. "You want to meet my mom?" I asked.

"Your moms back?" I saw Ryan's face glow more when he found that out. I know he cares. I can see it on the way he stairs.

"Yeah, c'mon," I almost grabbed Ryan's hand, but I didn't. Instead Ryan followed me.

"Hey, Dad. I’m going out to lunch with Ryan," I said. I knew my mom would want to meet him.

My mom walked over to Ryan and said, "I'm Sara's mom, Lucy," she shook Ryan's hand.

"Ryan," he smiled. It made me smile.

"I'll see you guys latter," I walked away with Ryan beside me waving goodbye. As his hand came back down it brushed against mine. I felt the chills go down my body. It was like the first time...

Ryan opened the door of his British car for me. I smiled, and got in.

Ryan got in, and started driving. "Justin came to visit me in California. He explained to me that it was a mistake, and that he only sees you as a sister. What I want to know is, do you think of him like a brother?" Ryan asked.

"I do," I smiled thinking of the past few weeks with Justin. He was like a brother to me. Then I thought of my real brother. I can't think of that. I can't think of him...

"You okay?" Ryan asked me as we were stopped at a red light.

"Yeah, it's just... I..." I closed my eyes and suddenly the only thing I could think of was how good Ryan was to me. "Thank you for caring," I said to him.

He smiled, and just drove.

"I love you," Ryan said as he pulled into the Starbucks parking lot. He got out the car before I could say it back. I do love him.

I opened my door before Ryan could open it. He walked into Starbucks with me.

"A passion tea for me, and a white chocolate moca frap without the whip for her, oh an a blueberry muffin," Ryan pulled out his wallet. He knew my order? I only told him once. He remembered.

Ryan and I sat down at the table by the window. I took a small bite out of my muffin.

"So what have you been doing lately?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing really. Justin and I have been hanging out," I mentioned.

"That's cool," Ryan smiled.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I've been making music," Ryan smiled.

I wish I could kiss him right now. "We used to do that together," I looked down.

"C'mon," Ryan grabbed my hand, and led me out. We went to the little shop around the corner with guitars on the wall.

"Ever since you sang that song to me that one night I had been searching for it. And once I found it, I couldn't stop playing it, because it reminded me of you," Ryan grabbed a guitar and started playing, "Now and then I get to wondering 'what would have happened if we never met?' I don't know. You take a drag off of your cigarette and driving too fast with some Zeppelin on," 

Ryan stopped, and took me over to the pianos. He started playing some notes and sang, "Seasons may change winter to spring...But I love you. Until the end of time. Come what may. Come what may! I will love you! Until my dying day!"

"Suddenly the world seems like such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such perfect grace," I sang.

"Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waist," We sang together.

"It all revolves around love," I sang to him.

"And there's no mountain too high. No river too wide. Sing out this song, and I'll be there by your side," We sang together.

"But I love you," Ryan slowed down.

"I love you," I sang.

"Until my dying,"

"Dying day," I joined in. "Come what may! Come what may! I will love you!"

Ryan stopped playing. "Until my dying day," He sang softly to me. He put his hand on my leg, and leaned in. I felt his breath get closer to me as his lips leaned into mine. His lips met mine, and it was like the first time. I felt shivers roll down my body, and the electricity in my blood. I never wanted this moment to stop.