Romanogers One-Shots

Last Hours Part 2

"Cap! On your left!" Sam yelled, shoving Steve out of the way just in time. A knife sailed straight through the air where Steve's head had been. 

"Oh. Right." Steve said, shaking himself out of his head. He saw Sam's pitying glance and tried to ignore it. He hated pity, especially when he didn't deserve it. Natasha had been dead for two years. Two years. And he still couldn't move on. He couldn't deal. In fact, he hadn't tried to deal ever since it happened. 

"Steve, we need to talk." Fury said gravely after the mission ended. Steve sighed and nodded. He had a feeling what was coming, but he kept his mouth shut and followed Fury into his office.

"Take a seat." Fury ordered, nodding towards the chair opposite him. Steve sat down. 

"What did you want to discuss, sir?" Asked Steve.

"Sorry to be so  blunt, but until further notice, you are relieved from duty."

"What? Why?" Steve said, even though he knew why.

"You don't have your head in the game, Captain. Twice Sam had to save you, when you should have been saving others. I understand what you're going through, so I'm giving you as much time as you need to get right with yourself. You're dismissed."

"Wait-no! You can't just dismiss me! The team needs me, sir! And..." Steve paused, "I need the team. This is the only thing that keeps me sane right now, sir."

"I can sympathize with that. But you are endangering your team, Captain, and we can't afford for them to get hurt. So take time off. Rest, recharge, and heal. These are my orders, Captain. See that you obey them. 

"Fine." Steve said shortly and he stood up and walked briskly out. 

"Oh, and Steve?" Fury called and Steve turned, surprised that Fury had used his first name.

"It gets better. I promise." 

"Thank you, sir." Steve said and he closed the door. Steve hurried out of the SHIELD building and hopped on his motorcycle, and began to drive to his apartment. When he arrived, he hopped off the bike and parked it, hurrying as his did so. He had to get inside before anyone saw him. Before anyone saw him cry. 

He had been close to crying a couple of times since Natasha died. But now he knew that he was going to cry for sure. Closing the door to his apartment, Steve slide down to the floor and buried his face in his hands. The tears came slowly at first, as if he was unsure of whether or not he could cry, but as he sat there, the sobs came easier and soon he found himself sobbing his heart out, remembering every little thing about Natasha, remembering every little kiss they shared and snuggling together during movie nights. 

Steve sat there for hours, until he had no tears left. Sniffing, he pulled out his phone and tapped on Natasha's messages. The messages he didn't delete because there was a part of him that hoped an impossible hope: that Natasha really wasn't gone. 

Steve: Hey babe <3

Nat: Look at you and all ur fancy text lingo

Steve: ikr. I think im finally getting the hang of this

Nat: u r 2 adorable Steve

Steve: im not adorable

Nat: yes u r. and i love u. 

nat: see u after the charity

Steve: love u too, baby

"Nat..." Steve moaning, shutting his phone off. "Why did you leave me? Please...just...come back. I miss you so freaking much." Steve couldn't believe that he was pretending he was talking to a live Natasha and he was even more surprised that it helped. "Just...Everything seemed wrong without you. I feel like I have nothing to live for. The Avengers don't even need me. I'm just this extra person that is more of a burden than a help." Steve found himself telling this pretend Nat about everything.

"And Sharon, God, won't leave me alone. She seems to think that I like her. Just because I literally said 'Hi' to her once."

"So you don't like her? You know, I was always afraid you did." 

"NATASHA?"