Fater lovers - 2

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Story: Fated Lovers
Writer: IndieWriters
Readers: 16+

Story: Fated LoversWriter: IndieWritersReaders: 16+

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Introduction

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Introduction

When I read the prologue, my impression changed. Goblin feels— from historical event, the curse made Fate to become immortal while Henry become mortal? (Or still immortal, basta't hindi siya makakabalik sa pagiging bathala form)

Smooth ang execution. Malinaw ang pagpapakilala sa tauhan at naipakita agad ang conflict sa kuwento. Napunta agad kay Amanikable ang atensyon ko at nakurot ang puso ko sa eksena.

And at the end, I was left hungry and wondering what the cause of the conflict is and what happens with Amanikable when Maganda kill herself.

After i-publish ni Charm ang critique niya, walang ipinagbago sa novel, kaya some of my observations that she already discussed was omitted to mine. Baka kasi matulili ka na paulit-ulit.

Plot

Maganda ang concept. Kakasabi ko lang Goblin feels. Ang ipinagkaiba lang ay dito Bathala ng karagatan at Kasamaan, si Maganda. Hindi awkward ang pasok ng mahika, nakakadagdag pa siya sa kulay at galaw ng kuwento.

Kung tatanungin ako kung nagustuhan ko ito? Absolutely!

Setting

Locale – no issue

Medium – old tongue, pero gusto kong punain na hindi ba't sa nakaraan, gumamit ka ng old tongue. Understandable. Pero si Henry at Fate ay nasa future na pero nananatili ang medium sa paggamit ng deep tagalog. Ang dating tuloy ay historical ang kuwento. Wala akong sinasabing mali ito. Ang totoo hindi naman nakakasagabal. Nagtaka lang ako sa target readers.

Narration

This is one of your strength. Kahit pa old tongue ay hindi siya hadlang para hindi ko maunawaan. Show at tell ay okay. Active ang lahat sa imahinasyon ko. Kudos.

Except with the following confusing detail or scene:

1.

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