To Mend What's Broken // Sirius Black

10

One week. One blissful week of peaceful sleep. Not a single nightmare damning my slumber. If only it could have stayed that way..

I mean things have been great. School is a breeze, I finally have a friends, I'm rid of my fathers oppression and beatings.

But that's just it. It all leads back to him. The nightmares began again after one week of being back at school. His and my mothers relationship continued to naw at my thoughts. I wanted answers so badly but had no way of finding them.

I wake up drenched in sweat and utterly breathless. This time instead of my father harming me in my dream, it's my mother he is hurting. I would rather take the beatings a million times over watching him harm my memory of her.

I peer through the dark and see my other three friends sleeping peacefully in their beds.

I feel a panic attack coming on quickly as tears begin to flow from my eyes. I'm so overwhelmed by all the dreams and questions in my mind. How did I become so broken..

I quietly slip out of bed and towards the door and down to the common room. Before I can't breathe any longer, I make it up the opposite set of stairs and into the second door on my right.

I tiptoe into the room and immediately find the silk black hair occupying the pillow of the far bed.

I slip in next to Sirius without even saying a word. I curl up into a ball and begin sobbing as quietly as possible. He obviously hears me as he wakes up and at first looks slightly surprised at my sudden appearance but upon realizing and understanding without any explanation whats happened, he doesn't even say a word just grabs hold of me and hugs me close.

"Shh it's okay.." he whispers.

"Sirius ?" A new voice emerges from the dark. A small light is emitted from the end of a wand. Remus sits up in bed and squints his eyes at the two of us, the light shining from his wand and onto his face making his scars stand out more than usual.

"It's just Naya." Sirius replies as my sobbing quiets down.

"Another nightmare?"

Sirius nods and looks back down to me. "I think another panic attack too.."

Remus sympathetically looks at the two of us cuddled together in the bed before turning the light out.

I know I seem like such a pathetic baby running to someone as soon as I have a nightmare. But I don't care. It helps immensely being near someone who understands and comforts me and thankfully the boys do understand. Before I met them, I would have to deal the attacks and night terrors alone and, yes, I got through them but it was emotionally and physically draining trying to find comfort alone.

I hope one day I'm able to get past this but for now I allow myself to nestle closer into Sirius's chest as my breathing becomes normal and my mind is finally blank..

***

"Hey I never saw you this morning?" Lily questions me as she reaches across the table in front of me for toast. I sit in the great hall with Lily on my right and my two other girl friends across from me.

"She's an early riser" Kat interjects sipping some of her tea.

I nod to the red head as I feel thankful for Kat speaking up as I didn't really want to explain how I spent the night. Although Kat is not wrong about me being an early riser. I likely will wake up every morning well before my friends do.

"Merlin I wish I had the willpower to be like that" Marlene grunts as she leans against her elbow looking almost half asleep. "I freaking hate mornings. I could sleep all bloody day if I wanted"