Escape: Through the Fourth Wall

5: Who, What, Wen?

"You know her?" I asked, mildly surprised.

I wasn't surprised that Zac knew this person. He seemed like the kind of guy who knows absolutely everyone in any given situation. 

No, I was surprised that the two of us had decided to sit down at the very seat in front of this girl and neither of them waved, or noticed each other even.

I told myself that I was probably overthinking things.

Maybe they just didn't know each other very well.

"Mac?" Zac beamed. "You came here?"

"So... acquaintance or..." I waved my hand around to express my ineptitude at completing sentences.

"Best friend ever," Zac grinned.

"What?"

"So!" he continued cheerfully, "Mac, meet Jack, my roommate. Jack, this is Mac, my best friend since I can remember."

"Hello!" she gave a small wave.

"Your name is Mac?"

"Well," she replied, twirling her shoulder-long hair, "Mackenzie, actually. You know, people normally respond with a 'hi'."

"Uh- right, I knew that. Hi." As you probably figured, I was an ace at social interaction. "Who's your friend?"

"U-um, if the four of you would mind pausing your engrossing conversation, I-I might be able to continue what I've been trying to say for f-five whole minutes now without interruption," this was Mr. Mister speaking up, adjusting his spectacles.

"The only things interrupting you," piped up Zac, loud enough for the class to hear, "are your repeated syllables, slippery specs and the sound of people laughing at you."

"W-w-well-," stuttered the teacher, pushing his glasses that had shimmied half an inch down the bridge of his nose back to their original position, but was interrupted by the sound of people laughing at him.

"I'm Lilac," said the girl sitting next to Mac. "But everyone calls me Lily. I'm Mac's roommate."

"Oh- um, okay. Hi," I added as an afterthought.

Mac snorted.

"Hold up," said Zac, holding up a hand. "Let me get this straight- Our names are Zac, Mac, Jack and Lilac?" 

We stared at each other for almost a second.

Dang, I thought.

Here comes an awkward silence. Just great. You have to say something now, Jack, because otherwise-

"I mean," burst out Zac, "what are the odds of something like that happening? It's gotta be even lower than Mr. Mister completing ten syllables without stammering!"

"I heard that!"

"We know!"

While the class was busy cackling, Mr. Redmond set his glasses right and tried to bring the class back to an acceptably civilized state.

"N-now, I only have twenty minutes to check-- no paper aeroplanes in class, keep that away-- so p-please cooperate with me-- no, I do not care if they're called airplanes-- I'd like all of you to tell me the s-subjects you have chosen-- for Pete's sake, I don't care about your loophole schmoopholes-- so when I call your name, please just give m-me the information I need s-so we can all get this over with as qu-quickly as possible."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" asked Zac. "I couldn't hear you over the noise of your deafening incompetence." 

"Ouch," I faked wincing. A few "Ooohs" echoed through the class. Mr. Redmond made a sound that sounded like a cross between a whimper and a sniffle.