B.F.F.W.E.B

Chapter 6

Lena inhaled deeply before knocking on the all-too-familiar door. She had no idea what she was going to say to the Kryptonian, but she knew she had to say something. She couldn't tell her about the diary, she couldn't betray Alex like that, especially after the woman had come to her and gave her the courage she needed to tell Kara the truth... That she was madly in love with her and would do anything to get a chance to be with her.

She heard footsteps, and within a millisecond the door swung open to reveal Kara's boyfriend(?) standing there with a smile on his face. "Oh! Hello, Miss Luthor... Um, Kara just went out, she should be back soon though. Would you like to come in and wait for her?"

And oh how she wanted to hate this man for being with Kara, but she couldn't. He was a respectful man, and Alex wouldn't have recommended him to her sister if he wasn't anything but a stand-up guy, so even if she and Kara never got together, she knew he'd be trustworthy with Kara's heart.

She still resented him though.

"Oh, um... N-no thank you. Could you just let her know that I stopped by?" She asked, as she felt her heart fill with something akin to acid.

The man nodded and gave her a friendly smile. "Of course! I'm sorry you missed her." He said before waving goodbye and closing the door.

Lena swallowed thickly. "Me too." She whispered sadly.

As she was turning to leave, she saw Kara climbing the last of the stairs, and her heart stopped. "Lena!" Kara exclaimed. "Hey, how are you?"

Lena inhaled deeply and asked the first question she needed to know before she told Kara everything. "Are you and Dustin exclusive now?"

Kara faltered for a moment. "Uhm... not yet. I'm sorry. We are talking about it tonight though!"

Lena caught the random apology and made a mental note to ask about that later, but right now she gulped back the lump in her throat and continued her trail of questioning. "Do you want to be exclusive with him?"

"Why are you asking?" Kara asked, her brow corrugated in palpable confusion.

"Because I love you," Lena admitted weakly. Her eyes were averted, and fear was encroaching her battered soul.

Kara paused for a moment before smiling. "Well, I know that, silly. I love you too! We're best friends. I promise I'll tell you what we decide right after I tell Alex, okay?" She asked with a smile.

Lena let out a shaky breath; she was losing her chance to tell Kara the truth, because if Kara went into that apartment without Lena telling her the true extent of her feelings, Kara would no doubt come out of there in a relationship with Dustin.

Lena took a deep breath, prepared to tell Kara what type of love she actually meant, but what came out of her mouth instead, was a cop-out... A cop-out she hadn't meant to say. "I'd like to restart our benefits. I was stupid to end them, and I definitely miss them."

She swallowed the bile in her throat as she watched a multitude of emotions cross over the Kryptonian's face. "But, Lena... You said that you wanted me to find a relationship?"

Lena clenched her jaw, and thought of how to explain this... Why was confessing her feelings for her best friend so damn hard? "I-I do. Want you to be in a relationship. I definitely do... Just not with Dustin." She admitted, looking into Kara's ocean blue eyes, hoping to god that she'd just understand what she was trying to disclose.

Kara furrowed her brow. "Why not? Did he say something to you!?"

Lena shook her head. She desperately wanted Kara to comprehend what she was trying to say, but she also had no idea how to say it without the risk of having her heart destroyed. She took a held her breath and tried again. "I don't want anyone touching you the way that I have before. I don't want you kissing other people. I don't want you loving someone else. I don't know if I'm crossing a line, I don't know if I'm destroying everything we've built together. I don't know if you're going to hate me, but I need you to know... Because you deserve to know that every time I see you with him, I have to force myself not to cry. Every time you mention him I have to force a smile on my face and pretend that it doesn't destroy me to know that he's probably seen you naked, that he's probably kissed you lips, that he gets to hold you, and be with you in public. The entire time that we were sleeping together, I was hoping, praying even, that you would want me to be more than just your fuck toy... I know that I'm your best friend, that's never going to change, unless you want it to, but I was still hoping that I could be more. I still do hope that one day I'll be the one that you come home to every day, the one that get's to hold you in public and kiss you whenever I want. The one that gets to marry you, and live with you, and build a life with you. Kara Zor-El Danvers, I'm so completely, irrevocably in love with you that being away from you hurts, but being around you is excruciating because I know that I'm not the one that you go home to. I tried ending the benefits because I thought it'd be easier than continuing them, but I was wrong... I was so damn wrong because seeing you with someone else hurts so much worse... So, no Kara. I don't want you to be in a relationship with Dustin. I don't want you in a relationship with anyone unless it's me... That's what I want, but if it isn't what you want I'll understand. I will give you space, and if you decide you still want me in your life as your best friend, I will find a way to be content with that because I can't live a life without you in it... but if you decide that you want to give me a chance to make you happier than anyone has ever made you, I will be ready."