Discovery Diary in the Journey of Love

An Unnamed Relation

I don't have any idea as to what I want to write in here. But one thing that the heart constantly pinches me to do is: write. Maybe because it knows that when I have my earphones plugged in and my hands on the laptop, the only instinct that comes along first is to put all of it down in black and white. When a person has seen things all their life in black and white, there are confusions that get created when they see a grey. But the tale that got me pondering is the tale of two such souls who know they don't have a future, yet they respect the beautiful journey they take, and the one that makes me realize that the journeys are way more beautiful than the destinations one tries to reach.

It is rightly said, when two souls are made for each other – they are bound to meet, no matter what. And finding the one is way more important than finding one. It is always about the journey that starts due to some reason in some season and the one that never leaves you. It stays with you always. Forever. Having seen naked the souls of people had made her completely transparent in terms of identifying as to what lies beneath those layers of smiles and fake faces, piercing her perspective through their real selves instead of the ones they tried to show to the world. One such instance being, the song choice of a very near one. She refused to quote the wordings of those songs to respect his identity, but the very moment she heard those lines she could see straight through the soul of that unique person. Each word resonated in her ears as if saying something to her. And thus began the curiosity of knowing the actual self of that till-date unknown "him".

It is said, "The one who has the capability to read through the eyes and pierce the heart straight through their look, breaking down all the walls created in defense by the heart, sees the naked soul." She was not sure if she saw it straightaway or not. But one thing was completely certain, there was something in him that intrigued her to speak to him about the ache that she could feel coming through is heart. People did feel weird about that point in her, but she was always confident about it – after all she was the confidante of a lot of people in the world, each one being different than the other. Conversations started building up and the cupid struck. Conversations became intense and there came a time when both the souls had already had enough of talking. The beauty that made them confide in each other was the same reason they were entangled in a beautiful bond. A bond based on zero expectations and only the purpose of consolation of each other miseries in complete understanding. The urge to vent out whatever was there in the heart, in the presence of each other, flowed like a river flowing in monsoon. And why not? The floods had already taken a toll, and it was high time the dam had to break. And when one is sure of the damage control, there is no fear of the flood any longer.

After a point of time, the floods broke even – with even her being open to him about all that life had done to her. As one of their common favorite poetries said, they were totally aware of each other's fears and anxieties, and both of them had equally given each other the chance to be the true self in front of each other. There was no looking back then, except maybe the formality of expression of that pure admiration for each other. But time also had plans for the same, and when the time thought it was right to strike the hammer, so it did.

When even the silence between two people is more than enough to pacify each other's souls, one does not look for anything further. Even the silence is melodious and even the noise is pleasing – the only reason maybe, because it is in-between the two souls and no other interference can shake down the bond that has been formed. It is rightly said – Khoon ke rishto mein dard hota hain, kyunki kaato to khun behta hain. Pr unn rishto ka kya jo ehsaas k balbute khade hain? Unn mein to kaate se bhi khun nahi nikalta. Bs ek tees hoti hain, jo kahi uthti to hain. Par use bhi pata hain k wo dil hi dil mein dard paida krke, dil mein hi reh jaati hain. A decision was made to continue the relation the same way it had started – complete understanding, zero expectations and utmost respect for each other, with complete respect and admiration of each other's past. They knew the present would always be an extension to the past, yet they took the plunge. He even had a future in vision for them, just because her soul believed in miracles. And there did come a time when the beautiful journey had to see its evil phase. But would that destroy what they had built?

Anxiety on his part for the answer to the question. And complete confidence on nothing going wrong was what she stood with. The confession night dawned in when he had to confess that whatever he had promised her, was about to break down completely. She was still all smiles about it. He questioned her as to how could she always be so normal about all the things and even feared that he would fall down in the eyes of her. Little did he know, that she was always there by the side of each such individual who felt that before him, each time a friend wanted a shoulder and all such times when a near one needed to have blind trust. She had always been the pillar of support for an innumerable set of people, which had already made her strong enough to fight each single battle of life. He insisted on being forgiven for whatever he confessed when he said he would not be able to marry her, but little did he know that she never looked for marriage in him. She was always was fond of this eyes, that could hide a lot and only wanted to always have the vision to see through his eyes and interpret what his words tried to hide. He was sorry of not having given her, her right of having him solely, but little did he know that she was never interested in isolating him to be hers. She only wanted a small place in his heart, that gave him confidence to reach her out in that corner whenever his heart ached. He was sorry for not being able to give her the future he had planned for them, but little did he know – she always wanted to be the one with whom he could speak his heart out and not the one who wanted a dedicated status in his life. She saw their relation way more beautiful than the boundaries for which he was sorry. He thought he was a cursed that whenever he got a certain happiness in life, it was got ruined. Little did he know, that there was always the "kala teeka" she had put on him the next day he confessed his sorry. Not because she feared anything, instead just so that she could save him from the world and get some time for him, to gather the strength to do what is good rather than what he felt god about.

So what she had to only say to him were a few lines from one of her favorite songs –

Mere pyaar ko na samajhiye ghalat aa...

Mere pyaar ko na samajhiye ghalat

Inn nigahon ka teri hi toh qaayal hoon main

Umrr bhar... main tujhe...

Umrr bharr main tujhe dekhta hi rahoon

Iss khata ki har saza manzoor hai

Tu dariya toh main ishq hoon

Kuch der mujhsa ban ke toh dekh

Kaun kitna gehra hai

Mujhme zara... zara doob ke toh dekh