Bullet From A Gun (Criminal Minds)

Family

Chapter 11

 
‘Though I've never been through hell like that, I've closed enough windows to know that you can never look back. If you’re lost and alone or you’re sinking like a stone, carry on. May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground and carry on.’ - Carry On by Fun.
 
 
If anyone - whether it be doctor, patient or visitor - looked into the room of Dr. Spencer Reid, they would feel drawn to him. It wasn't by his pale complexion, his unconscious state or the drips attached to his long thin arms; they would be drawn in by the people who sat around his bedside. None of the six people looked similar enough to be family, yet they all looked on to the young man with the same expression - an expression of love, fear and hope. 

On one quiet night, three days after the BAU team had found their youngest member bleeding and semi-conscious, the room was empty of movement, except for the rise and fall of Spencer Reid's chest and the turning page of the book that David Rossi had on his lap. For the first time, there was only one visitor. The team had agreed not to leave him alone until he was better. Aaron and JJ had to get home to their children, and Garcia - being Garcia - had flown out from Quantico to ensure her Junior G-man was okay. However, she had become so emotional and tired from her flight, Morgan and Prentiss brought her backto the hotel to rest, leaving Rossi alone.

David didn't mind being alone; he enjoyed the chance to catch up on some reading, yet his attention kept slipping from the novel in front of him to the unconscious form of his co-worker. His face was pale; no colour covered it, apart from the dark circles that constantly darkened his deep brown eyes. He looked skinnier than usual, and he looked almost peaceful. He hadn't woken up in the three days he had been there; he just lay there, occasionally moving his arms or his legs. Sighing, David rubbed the bridge of his nose and sat his book on the floor. Leaning back in the plastic coated armchair, he let his heavy eyes droop and fall, slipping into a serene state.

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Spencer didn't know where he was. He could near noises; noises of people walking about, of machines beeping steadily. Scared, he didn't want to open his eyes. He was scared of what he would find. Moving his fingers, he felt a thick material covering them. A blanket. Cautiously opening one eye, he saw that the room was lit by a single lamp, but the sudden light nearly blinded him. Closing his eye again, he sighed, trying to move his arm; he felt a tube move with it - a drip. All his limbs felt heavy and sore. Opening his eyes again, the light hurt less. He was in a hospital, his room door wide open. Outside, a few nurses sat talking to one another while a doctor looked at a flip chart and laughed occasionally at the nurses. Turning his head to the side, he noticed someone asleep on an armchair, Rossi. 
 
Spencer didn't know if he should wake up him up or not, as he wanted to know what had happened as he couldn't remember much. He remembered Logan and the knife, and Morgan talking to him, yet nothing else. How did he get here? How long had it been? Where was everyone else?
 
“Dave? David?” he said, wanting to see if the older man would stir. At the sound of his name, Rossi’s eyes snapped open, widening in shock as he looked at Spencer pulling himself up in bed, wincing slightly.

“Y...You’re awake?”

Reid laughed slightly. “Yeah, I think so.”

Rossi quickly stood up and ran out to get the doctor to check Reid over. After a quick examination the doctor estimated that he would be fine, he would just have a scar where the knife went in. Once the doctor left, Rossi leant forwards in the armchair. “How are you feeling?”

Spencer shrugged. He didn't know; he felt groggy but that may have been due to the long sleep or the painkillers. “I...I feel like I was stabbed,” he joked, lying back on the bed. Hospital beds weren't the most comfortable of places but Spencer was just glad he hadn't died. “What happened? I mean, after I spoke to Morgan...Which I kind of remember… not really.” Realising he was rambling, he instantly cut himself off.

Rossi smiled. He had to admit, he was scared that he would never get to listen to ramblings of Spencer Reid again and he was relieved that he could. Every fact that the young man sprouted off, he would graciously accept from now on, because this experience had taught him that he was lucky to know such a person. David now knew why the team was constantly worried about the younger man; they had been through almost losing him twice now, and for him personally, once was enough.

“After you spoke to Morgan, you blacked out again. JJ got Logan, you came here. You were dehydrated and losing a lot of blood, but the doctors managed to get the bleeding to stop. You haven't woken up in three days.”

Spencer’s eyebrows rose. “Three days, seriously?” Rubbing his face he sighed. ”I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't want to do this to everyone again.”

“Spencer, this isn't your fault. No one wants this to happen to you again. All of us have been here the whole time, JJ and Hotch had to get home to Henry and Jack this morning and Morgan and Prentiss took Garcia to the hotel. She wouldn't stay at Quantico; she had to be here for you. We're a family; we'll be here whether you want us to or not.”

Smiling slightly, Spencer mumbled, “I'm sorry, I've been so weird lately. You guys don't deserve that...You really don't.”

“Want to talk about it?” Rossi's deeply tanned face softened; he was always available for a chat with anyone, especially his team members.
 
Spencer looked down; he was ashamed that he had actually acted so immature. “When Emily came back, I got a call. I was still so angry at everyone I didn't bring it up. I'm getting my five year medallion next month.” Rossi's forehead furrowed in confusion; why would he be so disconnected because of that? Isn't that something to be proud of? 

Seeing Rossi's face, Spencer continued, “I feel like a hypocrite because...When I thought Emily died, I bought a vial of Dilaudid. I was going to use it, oh God how I wanted to, but I knew that she wouldn't want me to...Then she came back. I nearly slipped back into my addiction for nothing. Then I got that call from John reminding me about the ceremony next month. I felt like I had failed everyone.”

“You haven't failed anyone Spencer, you know that. If you had just told us, we would all be there for you. We always will be, Reid.”
 
Smiling, Spencer started to feel tired again. Yawning, he leant back and made himself as comfortable as he could, being careful not to lean on his wound. Before he could reply to Rossi, he slid into a peaceful sleep. For the first time in months, he slept without a nightmare.