fade to gray (frank ocean)

thinking about you.

       i sighed after the visit with Him in my head ended. that's the longest one i've ever had since, like in reality, He comes and goes from one high to the next. well, at least used to. i don't know what He does nowadays, other than He got signed and forgot about me after awhile.

       i'm actually really regretting hitting my head so hard, since i now have a headache. "alright, up you go." i said to myself aloud, forcing my body out of the tub and not bothering looking for a towel. it's just me in this 1-bedroom apartment anyway, and as for the window? let the people outside stare if they wanna. nobody's even touched me since He has.

"goddamn, anise. you're so beautiful." He breathed against my neck.

"how can you tell? we in the dark."

       He didn't respond, but rose from the bed and hit the light switch on the wall, pausing a moment to pick at the peeling ivory paint stained yellow from the old tenants' smoking. "now we not." with that, he joined me on the bed, bare chest to bare chest. as close as we could physically be. "you just are."

       my whole body blushed and rose higher than fever temperatures as he slowly ran his fingers over my golden brown skin. "oh really?"

      "yes." i cringed once He got to the stretch marks that ran up my thighs and higher, and it didn't get past Him. He frowned, lifted his face from my neck, then looked at my eyes. "why you insecure?"

"they're not pretty."

"they're fucking white lightening tattoos coursing on your gold skin like a river...what's a scenic view without rivers?"

       He gives me this lecture every time i talk down about myself, so i repeat His words from my scrambled brain as He'd say it. "it ain't complete."