fade to gray (frank ocean)

golden girl.

three years later...

lonny.

       you could say that love is like a flower. it needs water, sunlight, blah blah blah. if it gets all that it needs, it can be the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life. the world would be colorless without them; if you ask me, flowers are god's smiles, a way of reminding us that no matter what we do, he still loves us. as a born sinner, it was comforting to know that god still loved me.

       me and anise's love was more like a rose than anything. we'd neglected the rose for awhile, almost for too long. thank god that somehow, we got past the many thorns we had, and we had found a way to get the rose to flourish more vibrantly than we could've ever nurtured it.

and now, by god, we've gotten that rose to blossom. 

       the scent of orange wafted up to my nosrils, waking me up out of the first peaceful sleep i've had in awhile. i said nothing to anise, just blinked up at her with a straight face. i couldn't remain with this expression on my face, especially not while i watched a smile skip onto her face, the same way a rock skips on a pond (if you throw it right).

"want some?" she asked. 

"i'll take some," i yawned. i took the whole orange from her, then gobbled up half of it.

"quit being greedy!" 

"greedy is my middle name."

she threw her orange peel at me. "lonny, you are so full of it, i swear!" 

       sunshine was coming from the window, illuminating her golden skin. since she'd been clean for two and a half years, she almost was back to being the same radiant anise i'd fallen in love with way back in california. her hair wasn't straight and short anymore, but was almost to her shoulders and curly. i knew that st. louis had changed her as a woman, but to show her that i could handle the anise that she was now, i'd given her a ring and my last name so that the past as anise henderson that she wanted erased was gone. now, she was mrs. anise breaux. all mine.

      i smiled at her. "i am, i am." i went from my bed down to the mat i kept next to it to try and meditate. meditation was something i tried doing every morning to get my day off to a good start. but now that i'm in a better part of my life, my life is putting me at peace all on its own.

this is how it's supposed to be, i thought as i tried to cancel out the noises of life around me, only for the moment. 

       ayako was smarter than me. "daddy!" she squealed when she came into our room, running and tackling me in a hug. then, she gave me clumsy kisses on my cheeks and forehead. "good morning!" at two years old, she had to have been the purest, most luminescent being i'd ever encountered in my life. my baby girl was the human incarnation of 24k gold. sure, anise was a close second in luster, but ayako wasn't tainted by hurt just yet. the deepest pain she'd ever felt was from running and scraping her knee. i made sure that she was never hurt, no doubt about that.

i grinned and picked her up, holding her up above my head like a little gilded airplane making its way through ocean-blue skies. 

"lonny, i swear to god if you drop my child," anise warned up from where she'd stationed herself on the bed. 

"hush, anise. i ain't gonna drop her. am i, aya?" i asked my beautiful daughter, bringing her back down to my level just to keep anise from fussing further.

"aww, mommy, you made him put me down!" she whined. "why you do that?" ayako pouted. 

"it's not fair, she likes you more than she likes me." anise whined, most likely doing the same pout ayako was doing. hell, ayako got it from her, just like she got all of her other mannerisms. 

       "wah, wah, wah. too bad, so sad. hey, maybe you'll get a shot at a mama's boy this time." i grinned at the thought of having a son. two of each, that was a nice thought. i'd get the best of both worlds- a son to get to do all of the stuff i got to do with my grandpa before he died when i was nine, and a daughter to spoil like nobody's business. to say i had high hopes would be an understatement.

        "nah, i think this is gonna be another girl. you just want a boy so you can have a buddy to take with you everywhere."  i don't believe anise was actually mad at the bond my daughter and i shared. really, i think she was glad it was there, and that no matter what, our house wasn't gonna be like her.

"what about me? daddy is my best friend."

"aww, you promise?" i asked her, holding her to my face so i could look in her eyes. 

      she sighed. "yes! i already told you!" i softly smiled and hugged her close to my ear. "can you sing to me?" she asked in the same voice she uses when she wants ice cream and anise has already told her no. 

i paused for a moment. 

"please?"

"daddy's thinking, baby." then, i came up with something on the spot. "'solid moments, meditative poses, you break my focus, you make me laugh..."

picture of ayako as a baby in the mm.

a.n. - THE STORY IS COMPLETED!!! BRUH! this is history for me. never in my life have i ever finished a story, everrr! and now look at me! thanks to everybody who was on board with this story since day one (aiya, cheyenne, spirit, glenny, kimi, kay... and if i forgot you, forgive me bc dad is forcing me to get off the computer immediately... BUT I LOVE YOU!), been reading since i started this in july.

 i'm all for happy endings, so i that's what i gave to them, and to you. i hope you loved reading it at least half as much as i loved writing it. 

damn, i guess this is it (for this story). i won't give lonny or anise a sequel or anything, but i will answer additional questions you might have.  (p.s.- don't forget, blaze just might get her own story... if that's what y'all want.)

i love you all!