𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚜 // 𝚊𝚡𝚕 𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚎 [𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎]

III: You Can Fool Yourself You Came In This World Alone

Thanks to @21xoxo, who voted on the last chapter. I really appreciate it! If you are reading, please know that every read, vote and comment is appreciated and don't be afraid to leave feedback. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Estay POV

She had always been one of those people who just kind of meandered through life, loving and loosing and being too far away from reality for her own good. Far away, like the gods her parents had prayed to to help her were when she let it all go and left everything she'd ever known. A wild soul, directionless; and she wouldn't wilfully be anything else.

That must have been why she had had a lifelong love affair with music. The expression of things she couldn't quite put into words and the absorption of the lyrics others could fathom from otherwise unknowable emotions. Melodies that washed away all else; chords she could drown in. There was only one other way she could lose herself, and arguably it was the reason she'd left Lafayette in the first place. 

Music had probably saved her, Estay pondered as the opening of Wish You Were Here flowed from her fingertips' gentle strumming of the guitar strings. The suddenly achievable dream of recording her music, or covers at least, in LA's abundant studio space had forced her to stop spending the meagre money she could scrape together from her waitressing job on the illegal substances she'd rather not remember being in the clutches of, and into saving for some time in a local studio instead.

The sunlight was streaming into the window as she stared out into the LA afternoon. The studio was near a park, and sitting on the studio floor with her guitar, it was as close as she could be to sitting on the grass and relaxing without hay fever creeping up on her. Estay Lawrence, the philosopher and musical genius, defeated by hayfever,  she remembered her mother teasing. In better times.

"So, so you think you can tell?"

She'd never thought she was the best singer, but she enjoyed letting the lyrics flow and the haunting grace of Wish You Were Here, one of her all-time favourite songs, was no exception to her melodic creed. Estay loved how the words just rolled from her mouth, natural as breathing, complimenting perfectly the guitar chords. One day, she'd write a masterpiece. Yet somehow, despite the reams of songs she'd tried to write, she always came back to the first Floyd song she's ever heard and fallen in love with.

When you can't trust people, trust music to always be there. That was the truest, but undoubtedly hardest, life lesson Estay had had in her 22 years. When all else goes to hell, the same old songs would always be there.

"Heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain?

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?

Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?"

Oh yes, they did. Heroes for ghosts. This cruel word had given her too many ghosts. Ghosts she always pushed away, but that came back nonetheless.

Long live the music. It was the only hope she had.