Jailbreak

Chapter 5: Jay

We didn't give Jack his message from Anna. He never came back.

The next day, we found out that he had been killed in a factory accident. They had accidentally locked him in the furnace while he was checking it for any problems, and had turned the furnace on, never realizing that there was actually a live person inside, being slowly burnt to death.

The factory did not offer us any words of apology for our loss. In fact, when we went to the factory to retrieve Jack's remains, they shut the doors in our face, telling us that they'd completely burned him to ashes because they couldn't bear to look at his nasty remains.

I think that was the last straw for Raven.

"Wait, Raven!" I cry as I run after him. He sprints down the uneven concrete path, as if he's forgotten himself in his anger. I can almost see the dark tendrils of shadow rising from his figure, his rage taking shape as a matter of darkness. The shadows circle around him, and suddenly, I see Raven wearing a pitch-black coat, like the uniforms the keepers wear. I gasp and come to an abrupt stop, squeezing my eyes shut. When I slowly open them, everything looks normal again. It's the familiar Raven ahead of me, running like all hell's broke loose.

Soon, I lose sight of him. But I have a good idea where he is heading, so I wish for the best and start running again. That strange shadow and keeper coat must have been my brain playing tricks on me. I tell myself over and over, but I can't get rid of the bad feeling eating at my heart.

I throw open the makeshift wooden door to our workshop. A lone figure stands in the middle of the messy room, a hammer clenched in his right hand.

I make my way towards Raven, and stop right behind him. The sound of his heavy breathing fills the room. He's staring at our half-made plane, the blanket we'd thrown over it when the keepers first came tossed onto the floor carelessly.

"Raven," I pronounce each syllable carefully, and reach out towards him. With a piercing cry he slaps my hand away. I give a sharp intake of breath as Raven turns to me with a look almost inhumane, but then he seems to realize that it's me, and his eyes soften, though only a tiny bit. He turns away, and sags to the floor, hugging his shoulders like a tiny child.

"Jay," Raven murmurs. "I'm sorry about this. You've lost your family, again, all because of me. This is all my fault. I couldn't save her."

Something snaps in my head.

Why does he sound so self-accusing? He was the one trying to protect her. I was the one doing nothing at all. "Why... Why do you blame yourself? Why don't you blame me? I was the one simply sitting there like a fool while you almost sacrificed yourself to those keepers. If I'd done something there, we may have been able to save her. Why won't you blame me, like you know you should?" My vision turns blurry as tears fill my eyes. The tears of anger. The tears of sadness. The tears of guilt. It would be so much better if Raven just blames me. It would make me feel less guilty for everything. But no, he has to go on blaming himself, like the proud, selfless guy he is. "Why, Raven!?"

"SHUT UP!"

I look up in fright as Raven staggers to his feet, the hammer quivering at his side. He stares fiercely at me, and his eyes glow a deep red. He looks so different from the kind, dependable brother I've always known, that I take a step back.

"If I hadn't insisted on building this plane in the first place, none of this would have happened. If Mum hadn't lied to the keepers about the metal for us to build the plane, she wouldn't have been killed. Don't you see, Jay? It's all my fault. The only one I can blame is myself, and this STUPID, ASSHOLE OF A BRAIN!" He suddenly wheels around, and brings down the hammer on our aeroplane with a crash. He attacks the metal repeatedly, and with each strike, he screams, screams of sadness, guilt, anger, terror. Sadness for his mother's death, guilt for the fact that he couldn't prevent it, anger for his guiltiness, terror for the keepers who'd killed Anna without a second thought. So many emotions, so many negative feelings, expressed in one scream. I can only watch as the plane - the shiny body of metal we spent so much time to build up- becomes completely destroyed in a matter of seconds. But I don't stop him. I can't stop him. "I was the stupid one. How could I have actually thought it would be possible to escape this place at all? To escape from the keepers? No. They're too strong. I can never run from them. It's impossible. What I'd been ranting on about was just a pipe dream. It was never possible." He finally stops, the plane destroyed beyond recognition. His hands fall to his sides, limp, and the metal hammer slides from his grip, plummeting to the ground. The large crash echoes around the room, and it's as if I can see everything we've ever built up together crashing down to the earth along with it. Long after the lingering sound disappears into the air, he whispers very quietly, almost to himself, "It was all a child's fantasy."

This must have been the day our paths split into two.

The deep rumbling of the factory machinery.

The bright blood-red sun set.

The strong smell of oil and petrol.

They are all as I remember from that day.

I've turned 19. I've grown taller, and my voice has become low and manly. I have enough muscles to make the men drool in jealousy.

But other than that, everything is basically the same as it was then.

I still wear the same old, dirty overalls and work gloves stained with oil. My pockets are filled as ever with bits and bobs of all sizes.

No, nothing has has changed since them.

Nothing, nothing at all - I wish.

Actually something has changed since that fatal day five years ago. Raven is no longer working beside me.

Now I run the workshop alone, working until the late hours to fix and repair the objects my customers bring. On my own.

Yes, that's it. That's the one thing that has changed. Only one thing. Just one, simple thing.

Then why does my heart feel so...empty?