The Inevitable

Chapter 7 Empty

"I just…can't…" Carlisle trailed off. He had been saying things like that from the moment they had told him, unable to complete a single thought. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, closing his eyes. It was awhile before he opened them again. "Do you have any idea…how…"

"She…wouldn't talk to us," Alice said in barely more than a whisper.

Edward closed his eyes against the immense pain that hit him. It had been doing that since the moment she tore her arm from his grasp. Touching her, after thinking she was gone, after all this time; it felt like his entire world had finally come into focus, after being hazy and unclear for so long. His life had meaning again.

And at the same time it didn't. Because what did his life really mean, what did it really amount to now? The one person he loved most in the world had been…killed, essentially. And she was this...shell now. What she said to him was right; he could see it without even needing to be told. That she wasn't Bella…his Bella. Everything that had happened, every stab of pain she felt, everything she had lost; it was all because of him.

But he couldn't deny it. The feeling of being alive. The feeling he hadn't had since he said goodbye to her that day. The guilt, the anguish, couldn't push that feeling away. Her existence, her mere presence, brought it out; and now it wasn't going away. Because she was there; in one way or another she was there.

"There…there must be a way we can talk to her," Esme said quietly.

"You didn't see her," Rosalie spoke up. "She…she's not…"

"She's not the same," Emmett supplied. "The way she reacted…"

"How could we really expect her to react?" Carlisle mused.

"I…would expect her to be angry. Hurt maybe. But…" Edward choked up and took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "But not…empty. I could never have imagined her so empty. She is a shell. Nothing more."

"We have no idea what she's been through. But whatever it is, I'm sure it's not...in any way pleasant."

Edward cringed. He couldn't imagine what she had done these last years, with no one there for her. The thought of her being what she was, all alone, killed him. All he had wanted was to protect her; to let her have a chance. And look at the chance she had gotten.

"But…she's alone," Esme choked out. "We cannot just leave her alone. She must come here."

"We'll be lucky if she hasn't left the state by now," Emmett murmured.

Edward let out a low growl without even thinking about it. They all looked at him. He lowered his head, looking at the floor and shaking it a few times. "What am I supposed to do? Please…" he raised his eyes up to Carlisle, "tell me what to do."

Carlisle sighed. "Emmett could be right, and she could be…gone. But if she is not; we will need to try and approach her slowly. With the state she's in, crowding her will only do more harm. This must be done right if we have any hope of…regaining her trust."

"It's not her trust for you that needs to be regained. It's mine; only mine. I…I told her that day…that it was my decision; that none of you had anything to do with it. She knows that this is my fault, and my fault only."