A Heart for Milton

A Heart for Milton - Chapter 3

A Heart for Milton - Chapter 3

Margaret's eyes opened to see the white canopy and wooden crossbeam of the four-poster bed. She was not at home. I'm in London, she recalled lazily. The reason why she was there returned to her, and forced her to acknowledge again the difficult fact that her father was indeed gone. Allowing herself to languish in bed, she rolled over onto her side and slid her hands under her cheek. She would not be expected to be punctual today.

I'm engaged to Mr. Thornton! she remembered, her mind speedily reviewing the course of yesterday's events to reassure herself of its verity. She felt ashamed now to recall the way she had spoken so boldly. She hoped Mr. Thornton would not think badly of her for being so forward; she had acted impulsively when Aunt Shaw had interrupted them. It would have been disastrous for her aunt to know that he had come to propose marriage, so she had instinctively spoken up to protect their secret. Would he forgive her for her deceptive statements? She thought he would, and smiled as she remembered how stunned he had looked.

She longed to write and tell him of her feelings, to explain why she had acted so hastily in accepting his proposal; however, propriety dictated that she wait until he wrote first. She did not wish to appear so shamelessly forthcoming, so she would give him the proper deference that was his due as a man and as her future husband. Besides, Margaret thought with a pang of amusement, Aunt Shaw would certainly not approve of her dashing off love letters right away.

She felt a twinge of guilt to be thinking of Mr. Thornton when she was supposed to be grieving for her father. She imagined her father would have been surprised at her acceptance of Mr. Thornton, but she believed he would have approved. He had esteemed Mr. Thornton very highly. How pleased he would have been to see his daughter marry his good friend! She sighed aloud for what might have been.

Aunt Shaw would be an altogether different case. Margaret knew that she held to very traditional views of social standing, and that she would consider a manufacturer an unsuitable match for her niece. It disturbed Margaret to think that Mr. Thornton should be judged by anything other than his sterling character. Her aunt had started to speak to her in the train yesterday, but Margaret had truly been exhausted and had requested to defer the conversation. Aunt Shaw had complied, but Margaret knew she would not remain silent for long.

Rousing herself at last, Margaret decided she would not mention her relationship to Mr. Thornton today. It was still so new to her, and she wanted time to quietly cherish it; to think of what it meant to her. She wanted to contemplate the direction her life was taking without the intruding opinions of others, however well meaning they might be.

Edith was the first to greet her later that morning, as Margaret took her breakfast in the bright and airy dining room. "Good morning, Margaret. I had begun to think you might keep to your bed all day," she gently chided, as she seated herself at the table to keep her cousin company. "You look well rested. I am glad for it," she commented. "I'm certain it will be good for you to be here with us, and away from...Milton," she finished, hesitant to mention any unpleasant particulars.

Margaret smiled warmly at her cousin, grateful for her sincere affection. "I am glad to be here, Edith. I think I shall enjoy the peace and quiet for now. I feel I've much to ponder. I hope you won't feel I'm being neglectful if I sometimes keep to myself a little," she said in earnest.

"I think I'll understand," Edith replied honestly, although she was obviously disappointed.

"I look forward to being with Sholto," Margaret added to appease her.

Edith's face instantly brightened. "Oh, Sholto loves to play with you! You are so very good with children, Margaret," she praised.

Margaret smiled in response. Sometime soon I may have children of my own, she thought with a thrill of wonder at the possibilities her future might hold. And then a sudden flush of anxious alarm came over her to imagine sharing a bed with Mr. Thornton. She felt herself blush as she chastised herself for being so foolish for not having yet considered all the aspects of marriage. She knew, of course, there were certain intimacies required between a man and wife, but she felt apprehensive to admit that she was not exactly certain she knew what these intimacies entailed.