How Are You? 'Fine'

Dear _____,

There's so much I wish I could tell you. You make me anxious.
I use to look up to you.
Now that I've found my own secrets of how to live life, I don't want to be like you anymore.

You tear me down and tried to build me back up with these empty promises and fake hopes..

And new clothes and food on my plate, but I still don't see you as the kind of person I want to grow up to be.

I hear all these stories about mental abuse, and I've started to wonder what kind of relationship we hold anymore.

I loved the idea of us having one day of laughing and smiling like it once was, but I know it can't be like that any longer.

I've known all your secrets and heard all your lies. The more you want to talk to me the more I run away.

You hold a spot in my heart so dear, but you still treat me like you want me to disappear. I can't stand to sit and take everything you've ever given me,
whether it was good or bad,
you can take it all back.

But when I'm ready I am up and leaving and you can't talk me out of it. You'll tell me you still love me and of course I'll say it back

but I'm wondering which of us ever mean it anymore.

I'm still learning who to trust because the one person who's suppose to be the closest,
the one person who's suppose to be your biggest fan,
can be the thing tearing you down from the inside out.

I fear that if I stop believing in myself it's because I finally let your lies get to me.

And if I ever disappoint you in the end, just keep in mind I've been trying to grow up to be just like you.
__________________________

Hey.
This one is a little more from the heart so. Yeah.
I know I said I was ending the book but I can't. No matter how long the breaks are in between each poem, a writer is never really done.
I felt the need to write poems again, don't know why I'm up at 6 am doing it though?
Anyways
Byye ^_^