chapter one - my braids

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chapter one - my braids

"You ran your finger down my back and you spelled out my name" - Alex & Sierra

I met you when I was four years old. I had my raven black hair weaved into two braids that you would grow to love pulling. I was sitting on the swings at the playground and you had ran up to me. I remember I had thought you were cute. Your blonde hair, blue eyes and slightly pointy nose made me blush. Then you pulled my braid because you wanted to sit on my swing. So I kicked you in your shin. Do you remember how our parents had to pull us off of each other, Parker? That's how we found out that your family had just moved in next door.

Shouldn't we have hated each other after that? Maybe it would have been easier. Maybe then we could have had one of those we hate each other but we really love each other relationships, but no. No, we became best friends.

Do you remember when we invited the neighborhood kids to our wedding when we were seven? I made the invitations and you delivered them on your brand new red bike that your Dad bought you for your birthday. You dressed up in the tux you wore to your cousins wedding and I wore my communion dress. 3 kids showed up. Grace Evans, Carson Ryder and Maxine Owen. We made my older brother, Peter, be the priest. We promised to love each other forever and gave each other our homemade friendship bracelets. You pulled my braids again that day after I told you boys had cooties.

Do you remember when we were eleven and you took me to our first boy-girls dance? That's when I realized I had a crush on you and maybe you liked me back but we never talked about our almost kiss. You were awkward. Your voice kept breaking, you wore braces and you had a really gross pimple on your chin but I didn't tell you because... well I wanted you to kiss me. But your hand got stuck in my braids and you pulled them again...

Do you remember when we were fourteen and we skipped school for the first time? We road our bikes out of the cul-de-sac and just kept driving around the town. Mrs. Meyers may have ratted on us and got us grounded but my favorite memories of those 2 weeks cooped up in the house was sitting on our window sills and just talking. About school. About love. About sex, alcohol, cigarettes and all the things we had never tried. You tugged on one of my braids and laughed about how we were in high school and I still wore braids like a little girl. I almost told you I loved you that night but you almost fell out of your window. We woke our parents up laughing that night...

Do you remember the last night of our junior year? I showed up at Will's end of the year party and you teased me because I never went to parties. You had just broken up with Joanna and I built up the courage to tell you I loved you and I did. You kept staring at my lips and twirling my braids. You weren't that drunk so I believed you when you said you loved me back. I knew you weren't a virgin since you had told me when you lost it freshman year but you knew I was a virgin... and I thought you would never hurt me the way you did...

Do you remember the hours following then? We went home together. You climbed through my window to get inside and kissed me goodnight. I was so excited I couldn't sleep so I spent a few hours texting Grace. And then around 3 am I heard her giggle and then I layed in my bed and listened to you guys moan less than 2 hours after... after we did the same thing.

I wanted to scream. To hit something. To puke. Something! And I stood up, ready to smash through your window and scream at you but I couldn't. I didn't want to see you with her. Joanna hated me. She was a bitch but you still chose to date her. You chose her over me.

Turning around and seeing Carson Ryder staring at me through the window we shared made my breath catch in my throat. Carson was scary and everyone knew that he was dangerous. He liked to play with fire and hated anyone that wasn't in his small circle of friends. From the few times I had bumped into him in the crowded hallways at school, he would glare at me. He always had that cold, glazed over look but tonight as he stared at my fumbling form... He had a soft look in his eyes.

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