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D a e h w i ’ s  P o v

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D a e h w i ’ s  P o v

Jinyoung’s lips were soft and warm, and I couldn't help but kiss him back. He wrapped one arm around my back and cupped my face with the other. I let myself drown in the kiss until I remembered that we shouldn't be doing this.

I pushed him away. “We can't.”

“Huh?” I could detect hurt in his voice, making me feel more guilty, but I can't give in. I stood up and turned in the opposite direction and started to run. I have no idea where I was going but I had to get as far away from him as possible. I heard him yelling my name but I only ran faster, the hazy memories filling my head once again.

“What?” I cried. No, this cannot be happening.

“I’m breaking up with you,” Minseo repeated.

“Why? I thought…”

There was something in her voice that I couldn’t make out. She sounded cold, not like the Minseo I fell in love with. “We can’t, not anymore,” she insisted.

“But why?” I grabbed her hands and grabbed onto it tightly as she tried to shake me away.

“Look Daehwi, it was nice being with you and all. I just needed someone to make my boyfriend jealous, and now he wants me back.”

My ears burned, and my voice faltered as I said, “So you never had feelings for me? All the times we spent was meaningless?”  I felt her shift uncomfortably in her chair, her eyes finally meeting mine. “Well… we had fun.”

This couldn’t be true. Minseo and I love each other! But then, I started to realise certain things. All the times she refused to cuddle with me, all the times she would shy away from her friends whenever we were together as if she was embarrassed, all the times she got angry when I labelled her as my girlfriend in public.

Of course. It had all been an act. She didn’t love me, she was using me. I felt something in my snap.

“Fun? We had fun?” I screamed. “All of it was just fun to you?”

“Daehwi, calm down-”

“You just told me you never loved me and you are asking me to calm down???” I was losing control of myself at this point. “I was in love with you goddammit!” I wish I could make her guilty. I wish I could make her go down on her knees and beg for forgiveness. I wish I could make her love me. But all I saw in her eyes was pity, she wasn’t sorry at all. She didn’t care at all that she was hurting me.

I stood up abruptly, my chair falling back and hitting the floor with a thud from the sudden movement. I saw her shrink back, the slightest bit of fear showing on her face. My eyes moved to the kitchen, and I strode there. Yanking open the nearest drawer, my eyes continued to burn with rage as I wrapped my arms around the handle of the sharpest knife.

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