girls • lil peep [✔️]

twenty-three

the plane finally landed, and it was around seven o'clock. gus, tracy, lily and i were going to the place to claim our bags. i just wanted to eat some food and go to bed. 

gus's first show was tomorrow and i was extremely happy and excited for him. i can't wait to see how he performs on stage and how everyone will react in the crowd.

"babe, lets go here's your stuff" gus says, and i take my suitcase from him, dragging it behind me as i follow the group. 

-

i observe as gus nervously fiddles with his mic, about to go on stage. i walk up to him, kissing him on the cheek softly.

"baby, they love you! you'll do fine, we know you will. look, tracy will be up there with you at some points.." i say, trying to make him feel better. and suddenly, he was out of my arms and on the stage. 

fans were screaming, cheering him on. i heard the melody to "lil jeep" come on. i knew it was his favorite and it was mine too.

"i see your face when i look out the window- i think about her every time that i sniff blow" he sings, people singing along with him. he was truly an amazing performer, he was good at almost anything he did. i was extremely proud and happy for not only gus, but tracy too.

lily pulls onto my arm, pulling me to the back room. she grabs a baggie from the makeup table, pulling it out which is filled with the gorgeous white powder.

"come on, lets do some lines before they're done!" she says, pouring some out on the table and grabbing a card to line it up. i grab one as well making three long, skinny lines for myself as she does the same.

i take a dollar bill that was laying around, rolling it up and quickly placing it at the line to snort it. i hold my left nostril closed, inhaling the white powder faster than ever. my nose starts to burn, and i rub it to take away from the painful sensation, although it was worth it because the high immediately kicked in.

i do the other two lines, slowly walking to where i see gus on stage. the melody of star shopping begins, and tears rim up to my eyes. this was the first song of his that i heard.

i remember we were sitting in his living room and he played it for me, i was absolutely star struck. and here i am now, in awe over his voice.

"look at the sky tonight, all of those stars have a reason. a reason to shine, a reason like mine and i'm falling to pieces." he sings,  the crowd quietly singing with him. 

-

"goodnight, i love all of you" gus says, tracy and him blowing kisses out to their fans below them and head backstage where me and lily were waiting. i run up to gus, jumping on him and hugging him. 

"you did amazing baby! they loved you!" i say, kissing him on the cheek then jumping down.

"thank you babe" he says, grabbing my hand and taking me to sit down. i smile at him, lacing my fingers in his. this felt perfect, i was so satisfied with everything in my life right now.

suddenly, lily runs up to me and gus and shows us something on her phone. i read it quickly.

"lil peep x lil tracy after party being held at four seasons seattle" it reads, and i look at gus. he smiles, his grills showing. "i guess that's moves then, lets go get fucked up" he says, standing up and follow them to the uber we ordered to take us to the hotel.

our ride arrives, and we cram into it. tracy was in the front and i was in the back in between lily and gus.

gus looks at me, staring and i start to wonder what he's looking at.

"have you been doing coke?" he asks, squinting. 

"uh, yeah me and lily did a few lines why?" 

after i responded to him, he was quiet the whole ride there. did i do something wrong? he can give me cocaine but i can't do it myself?

when we arrived, there were girls everywhere dressed in slutty outfits. every female i saw had their ass or titties out, or both. it was kind of annoying honestly. 

i get out of the car, walking to the entrance. when gus and tracy got out, everyone screamed and ran towards them. i saw gus give a few girls a hug and take pictures with them, then wave and come inside.

i was kind of annoyed and didn't really want to be near anyone because of what gus did. why would you ask me a question and then when i answer not respond? it's not like i'm gonna overdose again.

i sit down at one of the many bars in the lobby, fiddling with my lighter. i take a cigarette that was laying down on the counter next to a bottle of jack and light it up, inhaling slowly and letting the menthol taste eat away at my taste buds.

 i turn around, flicking my ashes on the ground. i look up, looking around the sea of people. loud music was booming and lights were flashing all around.

but then i see something that wasn't very pleasant, something that absolutely broke me. 

gus, standing with his hands around some slut's waist, kissing her. i quickly stand up, holding my cigarette in my hand. i walk up behind him, pressing it onto his arm until the flame burns out. he jumps slightly, turning around ready to hit someone.

"what the fuck!" he says, pushing me. 

"no gus, what the fuck you! what are you doing with this bitch!" i say pushing him back and repeatedly hitting him. guards quickly rush over to me, pulling me away from the two.

i turn my head back, my arms occupied by big men in suits. i see her face and it disgusts me.

"you're dead bitch! you're both fucking dead!" i scream, and that's the last thing i say before i was in handcuffs.