girls • lil peep [✔️]

twenty-nine

after the whole scene with david, we just walked around the mall. we held hands and pretended like we were dating. david and i went in shops, fooling around and just enjoying each others company.

we get in the car and he drives back to his place. i've been staying with him lately because honestly i can't face my mom- i'd feel horrible, i don't want her to see me like this.

"what's the worst drug you would do?" david asks me, sitting on the couch after we got inside.

"uh, honestly i don't know. really i've just been doing whatever lately, trying new shit. i've been doing a lot of coke." i say, putting my elbows on my knees to hold my head up.

"i have something you might like because it's such a downer and will have you feeling mad relaxed but it's kinda serious" he says, pulling out a bag of brown powder. i stare at it, recognizing what it is. it's heroin.

"that's heroin david." i say, playing with my hands.

"i know but i've done it before and i'll do it with you, it's worth it i promise. i'm just tryna help you out but if you don't wanna do it then by all means don't, i don't want you to feel pressured ever." david explains, taking a sip of water.

"well how much would i even take? don't i have to like inject it or some shit" i ask, taking the bag and looking at it.

"i'll fill ur spoon for you and then you can do the rest with the needles and shit, i got clean ones so you don't get an infection or nothing. it's gonna hurt going in but you'll feel the effects almost automatically."

i gulp, watching as he pours some of the powder into the spoon. he hands me a lighter, and i take the spoon and set the lighter under it until the powder boils into liquid. i take the syringe with the needle, filling it up with the liquid. i lay it down on the table, grabbing the belt to tie it around my arm.

i feel for a vein, taking the needle and pushing it into my arm when i find one. the belt was tied so tight i feel like it could actually cut off my circulation. i watch as my blood fills up the tube, and i push the syringe and feel the burning sensation in my arm. it's enough to bring tears to my eyes.

i feel the euphoric feeling of peace run through my body, and i sit back, number than ever. i loved how sedated i felt, which wasn't a good thing because i'd probably get hooked on this shit.

i close my eyes, slowly blinking. i could feel my heartbeat slowing down drastically. i lean my head back, not feeling anything. it's like all of my feelings were just gone.

"scarlet, don't pass out on me" he says, nudging my shoulder. i open my mouth, closing my eyes unable to control myself. "scarlet! wake up don't do this shit you gotta stay up" he says , grabbing me and pulling me up. i couldn't stay up everything was just a blur, my head kept falling down onto him.

i fall over onto the floor, liquid running out of my mouth as the room spins and i black out.

- david's point of view

i watch as she passes out and i immediately panic. i call the paramedics and hide all of the drugs in case they decided to search the place.

i hear sirens and i know they're here. they bust through, a stretcher coming in. they pick up her limp body and put her on it.

"her pulse is extremely slow, we gotta get her to the ICU." the paramedic says, rolling her body out quickly and getting her into the ambulance. i hop in the back with her, holding her fragile, cold hand.

"please, don't die on me scarlet. i don't wanna lose my best friend."

this was all my fault, i shouldn't have given her any shit.

- scarlets point of view

everything is black. i'm here in my mind, but i know i'm not actually conscious. i know what happened, i think i overdosed. i can still feel the high - but i'm just trapped in my own mind. i cant move my body, and i have no idea what's going on outside of my mind. am i dead?

i stare out into the darkness, calling for someone's name but nobody responds.

i see gus in the distance, and i run over to him. i grab onto him and he turns around, smiling at me.

"you're okay scarlet, you'll be okay." he says, hugging me and grabbing my hand. he brings me to an extreme white brightness- and i jerk back.

"no, no! i'm not ready to go yet, i love you please" i scream, but i'm pulled forward.

suddenly, i'm out of my trance. everything is okay, i'm in the hospital. i have an IV attached to my arm and heart monitors attached to me. i look around, seeing a nurse.

"excuse me miss, am i okay?" i ask. she nods, smiling.

"you overdosed but you're very lucky to be alive and not seriously hurt" she explains, changing my IV bag.

"can i have visitors?" i ask, and she nods opening the door. she comes back with two people, one of them being gus and the other being david. i look at gus and pain just runs through my body. i felt sick already but he just made me feel dead.

"scarlet, i-" he says, but i interrupt him. "dylan, can you give us some privacy?" i ask, and he nods walking out of the room and shutting the door.

"why did you do this?" he asks, pulling up one of the chairs and sitting in front of my hospital bed.

"why did i do this? why did you do what you did. i did this because i was hurting! because of you." i say, feeling pain shoot through my veins.

"i'm sorry." he says looking down and pinching the bridge of his nose. i see tears fall out of his eyes but i just look the other way. i can't give into his shit again, i have to be strong because i know if i'm not then he'll just do the same shit over and over.

"i love you, so much." he says, grabbing my hand and clenching it in his. "do you still love me?" he asks, looking up at me with tears streaming from his eyes.

"i'll always love you gus, right now it just hurts to love you." i croak out, closing my eyes.

"you're arms are all bruised up. i can see where you tied whatever you did to cut your circulation and your veins just look horrible." gus says, gently touching the bruises.

"i did this to you.." he says, caressing my hand.

"no, i did this to myself. don't blame anything on yourself gus. i wasn't enough for you and that's on me, not you." i say, laying my head down.

i can't stay up anymore, i felt so weak so i just decided to fall asleep, my hand in gus's.