The Happiest of Man

Chapter 13

He’ll be reduced to a cane, to a walker, then finally, to a wheelchair.

Just the very thought of it made him wonder whether waking up every morning was even worth the trouble anymore. The disease won’t stop, it won’t seize its harassment. It will continue to ruin him until he will no longer be capable of speech. One day, he won’t be able to wake up the moment he closes his eyes, reaching blindly for sleep. Then what would he be reduced to?

To nothing, right?

He’s twenty-three years old yet this was already happening to him.

‘I’m too young for this’, the voice in his head would scream.

But, the core of his being knew that he deserved this.

Age didn’t play an important factor when it came to Spinocerebellar ataxia. It took anyone in as its hostage and drain them of everything they ever will have the potential of becoming.

Although mentally, he will remain healthy, it was his body that was eternally affected by the disease. What was the point of having a mind if his body was no longer of any use? 

Izaya was aware that becoming a “vegetable” wasn’t any better, but he didn’t want his life to amount to this. He wanted to turn his mundane lifestyle into something exciting. There was a goal that he has yet to achieve, too, but no matter how hard he tried, he was nowhere near being successful. He was always playing around. Why did he never take anything seriously when he was still healthy? 

Scanning his home, the one that Namie and his VIP didn’t know about, the day he will be hospitalized again, he knew that this will be like the room he will be placed in: empty, cold, and lonesome.

The only distraction he had as he stared mindlessly into the dark was the fact that Shizuo Heiwajima was the one who saved him from his impending death. 

As he sat helplessly upon the street, he noticed the incoming car inching closer and closer to him – then a body became his shield, bits and pieces of the ground scattered the surroundings as well as the broken glass upon the vehicle. Before Shizuo stopped the car, he remembered hoping that everything was just a nightmare that he was suffering through. If he were to get hit, would he wake up? He knew it was senseless of him to think in that way, but the realization of how bad his disease still hovered over his head.

In a way, he almost accepted his death. The fear remained, the acceptance creeping through – but that blond head came into view.

“Why did he save me?”

Izaya attempted to swing his legs, but they were stiff; he couldn’t move them as freely like before. Looking at the time, he knew he couldn’t fall asleep around this time. It was too early in his book, so he decided to take a walk. He was aware of the stares he will receive because of how “odd” he seemed, but right now, he didn’t care. In a way, he wanted to prove to himself that he was still capable of something.

Before he walked out the door, he looked at his desk where a new journal sat neatly on the center. With the thought of returning home, he visited a store to purchase one. He remembered the experience clearly in his mind.

“Hey, mister, why do you walk like that?”

“Hahaha! He looks like a penguin.”

“That’s sad, isn’t it?”

“He’s too stupid to walk properly, huh?”

He gripped the door handle the moment the memory rushed in. Once his grip loosened, he calmed down as he looked at the journal again.

No one knew of his home. No one knew where he was at the moment.

“I don’t see the harm that it may cause.”

Opening the journal to the first page, he grabbed out a pen from his drawer as he uncapped it and began to write. His once neat handwriting was messy like a child learning how to write for the very first time and it was difficult to move the pen in smooth movements. It took him longer than expected to write a single sentence: Today, Shizu-chan saved me.