The Happiest of Man

Chapter 26

“I remembered something the other day.”

“And what is that?”

“At the library, that one time . . .”

Izaya tried to remember – it was too far back and even if he did have little conversations with Shizuo, he doubt he’d remember them so fondly in the first place. 

“Were you always that afraid of dying?”

He didn’t verbally display his confusion and the mild surprise he felt at hearing that.

“I think everyone is afraid of dying, Shizu-chan.”

“No one in school ever talked about dying like you did.”

Izaya smiled bitterly.

“Why bring this up? Such a morbid topic to talk about while eating.”

“You mentioned it while I was trying to study back then. You ruined my good mood, fucking bastard.”

“You could have left, you know.”

“I was there first.”

Izaya couldn’t help but to laugh. 

“Shizu-chan, that kind of argument is reserved for children. You do know that, right?”

“Izayaaaaa . . .”

He watched as Shizuo tried to keep himself from crushing the bowls, plates, and the table. Izaya looked around the room and began to wonder why he was trying to practice self-control if he was always such a rampaging beast.

“You want to hit me, don’t you?”

Izaya drummed his fingers against the table just like he did before meeting up with Shizuo. Before, his fingers would have made smooth movements. This time, they looked out of place and erratic. He knew that Shizuo was looking, but he didn’t acknowledge it.

“What’s stopping you?”

Shizuo looked a lot calmer now which surprised Izaya. Like he was quick to anger, was he quick to calm down as well? How come he never noticed that before?

The blond got up from his seat as he walked over to Izaya’s end of the table. There, he sat down just a couple of inches away from the man and gave his arm a light punch.

“Shizu-chan, that really hurts.” Izaya rubbed the area where he was punched as he scooted away from the man. He was joking, though. It didn’t hurt. He knew that Shizuo made sure it didn’t hurt for him. Somehow, it seemed endearing to him.

“Tell me why you randomly talked about death to me on that day.” The reason why Shizuo was persistent about this was because of what Izaya said the other day. He could go through a day without having to think about it, but there were several reminders that always triggered that memory. His encounter with Izaya was way too off to even be considered normal to him. Shizuo only wanted answers and not the piling questions that he had now.

“I’m surprised you even remembered that . . .”

Izaya looked down at the wooden floor. He extended his legs as he wiggled his toes, watching their slow movements through socked feet. 

“There are a lot of questions that have their own concrete answer, but there are two that left me clueless. You know what they are?”

Shizuo simply looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

“What makes someone human . . . and what happens after you die.”

Izaya got up as he used the wall as a form of support. As he walked over to his wheelchair, he decided to remain standing, his hand on the object that allowed him to move around. He wasn’t a fool; he saw the harm in telling his enemy these things, but he also found harm in trying to escape. He knew that Shizuo was capable of keeping him rooted to a single place because he no longer was able to move around freely. At least, that’s what his assumptions have told him. So, he decided to freely respond as truthfully as he can.

“You know, Shizu-chan, I was taking a nap one day when I was younger. Doesn’t sound too relevant, right? You know what was different about that nap, though?”

Shizuo had gotten up to his feet as well as he held the wheelchair under his arm. He assumed that Izaya wanted to leave already, so he walked towards the sliding doors, but didn’t open them just yet.

“I woke up . . . afraid to die.”