The Happiest of Man

Chapter 29

“Because, bastard, how the hell did you become like this in a matter of months?”

“Is that really it?”

Shizuo had to force himself to move forward instead of standing in place, giving Izaya the hint that there was more to it than that. He almost began to wonder whether it was possible to hide anything from him.

“Does a part of you still believe that this is all an elaborate act?”

“. . . I just want to confirm something.”

“Hmm . . .” Izaya gave his head a slight tilt before he turned his body around and pointed to that particular direction.

“You’re going the wrong way. Turn around and make a left once you reach the stop light.”

As Shizuo followed Izaya’s directions, he relaxed into his seat. He gave off the very air that he was confident in the situation, but in reality, he was unsure about it. Izaya honestly believed that his life would be quieter, entirely uneventful. Instead, it seems that Shizuo was there to give him some company although he had never asked for it. Whether he was grateful or not, he usually decided by the end of the day where he wrote his thoughts down in that journal, hoping that the ink won’t wash away, leaving no traces of who he is, who he was, who he will be in the end.

Continuing to give directions to the hospital in Shinjuku, it ended up being a pretty long walk from Ikebukuro, however there were no complaints heard or exchanged during it. Oddly enough, the atmosphere was pleasant – at least, Izaya felt that way. Shizuo was contemplative which was rare, especially since excessive thinking usually hurt his head and made him angry. The walk was probably therapeutic and it was something he needed to keep his anger at bay.

Walking through the doors of the hospital, Shizuo led himself and Izaya to the waiting room where he leaned against the wall while the other decided to look through his journal, dog-earring the pages he assumed the doctor was able to read. 

Really looking at him now, he began to wonder whether Izaya was always this small. It felt like if he were to grab onto that neck of his, it would immediately snap and it made him shudder at the thought of it. It’s true: he hated violence. When he was angry, it somehow didn’t matter how many bones he would break in a person or how they land on a ground with their limbs twisted. Once he calmed down, it’s not like he would remember anyway. But, the very thought of it while he was calm was almost sickening.

Or maybe it was because he didn’t see Izaya as the same person anymore.

“Izaya Orihara.” 

Shizuo’s head lifted as he watched Izaya wheel himself towards the nurse with a smile on his face, almost as if he was programmed to always smile in response rather than to frown and allow his emotions to leak through the cracks of his mask.

It appeared that he had stopped the nurse from walking further away from him. Izaya pointed over towards him as Shizuo blinked briefly before realizing that maybe he wanted him to tag along during his check-up today. The nurse didn’t appear to fear him – maybe rumors from Ikebukuro didn’t reach Shinjuku. With the nod of her head, Izaya waved him over and the blond followed after them.

Arriving to the front of the doctor’s office, Izaya requested that Shizuo were to stay outside for a bit. He began to wonder how long he has to wait, but he decided to go along with what Izaya wanted as he stood there, arms crossed over his chest, questions building up in his mind which annoyed him.

Once the door of the office opened, he heard voices.

“I have a friend outside who would like to learn more about Spinocerebellar ataxia. Mind telling him what you told me before?”

“Sure.” Fortunately, the doctor didn’t mention how he could always tell him about his disease, but considering how Shizuo hardly believes him at all - Izaya was almost glad that the doctor was agreeable at times. 

“All right. Then I’ll be going.”

“Just a moment, Izaya.”

“What is it?”

“Your condition is worsening from what I have read upon your journal.”

“I know. I’ll have to be hospitalized eventually, right?”

“Perhaps it would be best if you were to be hospitalized earlier than expected.”

“I won’t be able to do much if I allowed that to happen.”

“Please consider it, at least.”

“I will, I will.”